Yesterday I went to the movies with my two oldest kids. After the movie I went to use the restroom. While I was in my stall, I reached into my pocket to pull out my phone. When I did this, a dollar bill and two quarters fell out onto the floor by my feet.
Before I had a chance to reach down and pick up my money, the grandma in the stall next to me grabbed the dollar and the quarters like a seagull attacking a French fry, and hurried out of the restroom! I knew she was old because I saw the hand that had reached across my side of the stall. She was so fast! I heard her shuffling out of the stall and out the door of the restroom.
My kids were waiting for me so when I left the restroom I hurried over to them and said, "I have to tell you what just happen in there!" to which their response is, "Sick...I'll pass mom" and "She's old, the little things excite her".
I keep picturing what this old lady must have been thinking. I imagine her name is Mabel and she had her best friend Hazel waiting by the hand dryers.... My money fell and BAM! Mabel went for it!! She burst out of that bathroom stall and ran to Hazel saying "I've got our doughnut money! Let's get out of here!" and then I always end with Hazel giving an evil laugh as they hop on their motorized scooters and roll off into the sunset.
I know times are tough but, really? Craziest thing I've seen in quite a while. Think about it. As soon as she picked the money up off the floor, she bolted out of the stall. Either she was just standing there, not using the toilet - just waiting - like a hunter stalking its prey. Or she WAS using the toilet, leaving no time to pull her pants up - running out of the restroom half assed. I'm not sure which scenario is worse!
Oh well, it was pretty funny. Best $1.50 I've spent all year.
More from living