Ask4Recovery - How do I stop being dependent on people, places, and things?

4 years ago

Hello friends! Today’s ‘Ask’…

How do I stop being dependent on people, places, and things?

Moving away from this dependence takes time. It certainly did and still does at times for me. It requires a psychic shift in our mentality. Years of trained and maladaptive behavior does not just disappear. I still see that dependence pop up, but now I no longer entertain that concept as the relationship with myself continues to grow stronger and flourish. That need for external validation is no longer there, as long as I work my program of recovery, one day at a time.

My self-worth required this dependence for years as I looked for everything external to fill and complete me. I had no idea who I was and my happiness, my sense of self was conducive to the validation I got from others, the material possessions I owned, the job I had, the money I made, and the list goes on.  All of this dependence kept me so far away from the person who is here today. I have humbled myself and gotten raw and vulnerable. This never would have been possible when I was active in my addictions and dependent on everything else except my relationship with myself and with my Higher Power to give me a distorted sense of wholeness.

When I entered treatment, I needed to get away from the people, places, and things I was accustomed to for years. I moved from NYC to Miami and began the relationship with myself. I began to feel the pain and the sadness. To deal with life and not have to engage in destructive behaviors. All of this contributed to me getting to know and love myself on a whole new level. When I notice the need for validation from others or from something external come my way, it is a clear indicator that something else is going on.

How have you stopped your dependence on people, places, and things? What has worked for you? Let us know and join the movement with me!

Sending love,

Lauren

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