And That's Why I Shouldn't Go To The Mall Alone

4 years ago

For the past two days, I have had the song "Gangnam Style" stuck in my head on repeat. Think about it. As irritating as that song is to hear it once, try having it stuck in your head on some type of sick repetitive loop. 

Sometimes I get lucky and the song fades to the back recesses of my brain. But it never goes away entirely. Occasionally "Jesse's Girl" or "Whip It" beat the Korean rap song to the top of my musings, but there softly in the background is Gangnam Style.

Naturally, I blame Old Navy. 

It was in Old Navy on Wednesday morning that I heard Gangnam Style at what can only be described as an ear bleeding volume. Genereally Old Navy gets is right in terms of good shopping music: a little bit new, a little bit old, a little bit groovy and at enough volume to merrily sing along as you make your way through the clearance racks, but not so loud as to not hear the kid in the toddler department screaming "But I don't WANT Applebees! I WANT Panda Express!".

It is of my opinion that background music should be used to enhance my shopping experience and not cause an ear worm of epic proportions. 

For the most part on Wednesday morning, the music at Old Navy was fabulous. Then, while at the checkout, the music most decidedly did not enhance my shopping experience. It contained Psy at top volume and that's not a good thing. Plus, it caused me to break out my nonexistent dance moves.

In public. 

Oy vey.

I was fine until I reached the register. Really. Sure there was some out loud singing along with Cyndi Lauper. "Time After Time" was blaring and people, that's my jam. There may or may not have been some holding of a two-pairs-for-five-dollars flip flop like a microphone to complete the look, but I digress.

It was at the checkout when Gangnam Style invaded my life. There I was, swimsuits scanned and poised to complete my transaction with my stack of coupons and Super Cash, when that song busted out of the store's sound system with the force of five teen aged boys raiding a fully stocked refrigerator.

The sales clerk was about my age. She groaned and said, "I hate this song. It's truly terrible."

"I agree! And as a person who grew up in the 70s and 80s, I feel that I can speak with some authority on what constitutes a truly awful pop tune … and this would be it, " I replied.

She grinned and said, "Did you know there is a dance, too?"

Well, that's the only invitation I needed to whip out my imaginary lasso and demonstrate that I, too, knew that there were dance moves to accompany a song that out ranks both Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" and Starships "We Built This City" on the ol' Most Irritating Song scale.

There we were, getting our groove on Gangnam Style at the register. Can't you just picture it? Two clearly ungifted, forty year old women riding our imaginary horses and lassoing our imaginary sexy ladies.

On second thought, don't picture it. Just … don't. Sorry for that image. Try to forget it, will you?

In fact, let's forget we ever had this conversation.


Jen keeps a quirky and (sometimes) humorous blog,, where she writes of her life (with occasional flashbacks to the 80s) and shares her non-award winning photos.

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