Am I paranoid?

5 years ago

Playtime should be fun time, but how do you let your children play unsupervised by you personally. I do not allow my daughters to play at anyone's house unless I am present, so this means I must deal with children at my house. Since they are not allowed at anyone's house, I find that other parents easily let them come over. Now I would never harm these children when they come over but how do the parents know this? How could they even chance it?

I had a birthday party at the beginning of the year and I was so busy, I was still out picking up the cake when some guests arrived. Parents of my daughters classmate whom I have never met before, left their children at the party with a male adult who was there setting up. When I came home I was shocked!

"How do they know if I'm a child molester?" (which I'm not)

"How do they know if the male adult is a child molester?" (I can pick a child molester out of a line up, I get a vibe and he's not one)

But my question is, how do they know that?

Like any other mom I get requests from  friends of my kids to play with my children at their house. I always refuse and apologize to them and their parents and let them know that they are welcome to let their children come over. I find that parents are shocked and offended that I wont let them go over. I usually get a blank stare, and I have to apologize. Should I have to apologize because I want my daughters to be safe? Do you know that most people that sexually abuse a child is someone that the child knows? I don't want my daughters to know anyone that I don't know personally and I want to be there watching. I have had children at my house til sun down, lunch and dinner and not once does the parent check in. I guess because I was molested as a child, it haunts me and I would never allow that to happen to my daughters. I will limit alone adult time with my children as much as I can. I am always shocked that they even ask if their children can spend the night? What? Spend the night? Are you kidding? It's enough that they are at my house all day and now you want them to spend the night? My kids are only allowed to go to my sister's house and that's only because she's crazier than me!

I walk my girls to school and I can't leave until I see them walk into their class, maybe I'm paranoid? I just couldn't live with myself knowing that my negligence allowed harm to come to my child. Especially Nicky and her ADHD, she could wander away and walk right out of school. I would be sick to my stomach walking/driving home with thoughts of not knowing for sure if they got in class. I also pick up my daughters from school, they're only in 2nd grade and 4th grade. I have seen kids as young as them and younger walking home alone, where are their parents? I know sometimes parents have to work but at the expense of the safety of children? Have a baby sitter, a trusted neighbor, older sibling or some older adult or family member pick up your kids. Not only could these kids be kidnapped but they could be hit by a car or bitten by a dog.

I have come to accept play time at my house and I am beginning to know that this is a consequence that I must deal with because I want my kids to play at my home. I think I've mentioned before that patience isn't my best virtue but I try to accept the play time and it will be a way to keep my children in my sight! Am I paranoid?

This is an article written by a member of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

More from living

by Becky Bracken | 5 hours ago
by Aly Walansky | 3 days ago
by Jessica Drake | 12 days ago