AIA (Ambien Induced Antics)

5 years ago

Apparently, I think I'm I.M. Pei or Frank Lloyd Wright in the Ambien world.

While in college (several years ago), I had a severe case of insomnia.  I would go 3 or 4 days on only a couple of hours of sleep.  It wasn't working for me.  I thought I was going crazy, so the doctor introduced me to the sleep aid, Ambien.

It worked.  It worked really well, except that I would do things at night that I was unsure of in the morning.

I lived with a roommate at the time and I'm sure she thought I was going crazy too.  She would tell me things the following morning that made me think she was the one who was crazy.

Apparently, one night, I went into her room and stared at her while she was sleeping.  She woke up with that odd feeling of someone was staring at her and became startled.  Luckily, I wasn't holding an ax or she would have really shit her britches.  Not that I would do such a thing.  I wasn't psychotic, just sleep deprived.

Roommate:  What are you doing?
Me (apparently sleep walking): ... 

I grabbed her pillow and her blanket, took them into my room and threw them on the floor.  The next morning, I awoke to the mess at the foot of my bed, wondering how in the world her pillow and blanket made it to my room.

The next night, I took my Ambien and went to sleep.  The next morning, my roommate woke up, went to the bathroom and saw my architectural wonder situated on the bathroom floor.  I had built Stonehenge out of shampoo bottles and other "bathroom necessities." The bottles were used as the pillars and across the top, I used her (unused) panty liners.

Not only was I an architectural goddess, but apparently the reincarnation of Julia Child. In the middle of the night, I cooked an awesome meal with all the trimmings, plus whipped up a fabulous nanner puddin'. I then proceeded to throw it all away, leaving the evidence (and aroma) wafting from the trash can, and went back to bed.

Of course, I never recalled doing all of this and thought that I was going crazy. Scared I would do something that I'd later be arrested for and have to explain at my trial, I threw away the Ambien.


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