The advice.

4 years ago

My husband is a terrible tease.

He likes to joke and have fun.

He shoots a lot of crap too.

Apparently, his Mom takes him a little too seriously.


During a visit at some point,

Mike made his favourite sex joke.

Clocks shouldn’t be allowed in the bedroom

Because, when the clock says only 5 minutes have passed

He feels sexually inferior. 


Serves him right actually,

He shouldn’t have been making such jokes at all, let alone, in front of his Mother,

But, he just can’t help himself. 

She seemed to take it well at the time. 


The phone rang again mid day,

I was home alone...again.

It was my MIL.

She wasn’t calling about toilets this time.

Nope...this time it was about sex.


Three words into the conversation and I was totally uncomfortable.

I had no idea where she was coming from,

Or...where she intended to go with it. 

I was looking around the kitchen for support, knowing I was all alone. 


My MIL was concerned about her son’s premature ejaculation.

The mop I was holding fell to the ground.

I folded down beside it.


She referenced the joke.

She was worried our sex life may not be as satisfying as it could be.

She wanted to send me some info on how to help him with his ‘condition.’

She reviewed some of that information, including things I should do for him.


My hand was firmly over my mouth.

She wouldn’t let me get a word in.

I was torn between hysterics and hanging up!


Finally, I was allowed to speak.

I re-referenced said joke.

I re-iterated it was a JOKE.

I explained there was no condition to worry about.

I reassured her all was well with our sex life.

We are newly weds ...

If you must know!  (I screamed inside my head!)


I have to stop answering the phone mid day...

Or get him a muzzle. 



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