is for Hand-sani, Hoarding tendencies, Hotels, andHot tin slides, baby.
is for Intrusive thoughts ("unwelcome, involuntary thoughts, images, or unpleasant ideas that may become obsessions, are upsetting or distressing or paralyzing, and can be difficult to manage or eliminate."). Specifically, Intrusive Thoughts of the folded-up treadmill falling down onto the tender skull of my secondborn. Or maybe "I" should be for It's more likely than you think.
is for JoJo, Purveyor of the Sanitary Way.
is for Kill it with fire.
is for Lice. DNW. Listeria, Lysol Wipes, Lysistrata. Because Lysistrata popped into my head just now. Thank you, Advanced Placement English 1996.
is for Mommy Juice. See also; wine. Def: What mommies must resort to by at least 5 pm on your average weekday. M is also for the McPlaguePlace; Matchsticking a dog; and Medication, buttloads of.
is for Quips, Witty. What I like to hide my pain behind.
is for Rape showers. What I take when I come home from my Acid Test Friends' house.
is for Sani-Hands. Or Salmonella poisoning? S isfor Shitpaws. Also known 'round these parts as feline feet. Which step all over and dig amongst their litterboxes turds. And then walk all over your pillow and food-prep surfaces. S is also for Sneeze. Because, I mean:
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