365 Days Back To Me

4 years ago

We’ve all heard it before – a midlife crisis is all about dumping your spouse for a newer version, buying a hot sports car and leaving your old life behind.  From my teens, to my twenties and through my thirties, I thought it was silly.  You can’t just start over by ignoring your life.  Who does that? 

Now that I’m in my forties, I think I’ve figured out what exactly that “midlife crisis” really is.  It is the realization that the dreams of your youth have been exterminated by very life you were trying to build.  You get out of school, get a job – not your dream job but the one that will do until you get something better.  You look for the man/woman of your dreams, followed by the dream wedding, the first house, the first child and so on.  Before you know it, you’re turning 40 and wondering what happened to your life. You were going to be the first female President, write the next great novel, travel the world or join the Peace Corps.  The go-getter who knew the sky was the limit has suddenly realized that she’s turned into the stressed out mom, wife and executive you swore she’d never be.  It’s terrifying, depressing and can cause the panic severe enough to make even the most sane individual want to start all over again. 

Hoping not to be the woman with too much plastic surgery, a boyfriend far too young for me, and a hot sports car (well…I may still get the car), I’ve decided to do a little experiment.  I’m calling it “365 days back to me”.  I’m going to spend the next year making a list of those things that I’ve always wanted to do, and start on my list.  I want to delve into the person I am and who I’d like to become, keeping a journal along the way.   I’m not sure what will happen, but I know that there are many dreams I’ve yet to live out, lots of life to live and no reason to decide it’s too late for ANYTHING.  Want to join me?  

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