I was trying to find a safe spot for sunbathing in the garden of my student house in Hertfordshire when I discovered a sprout of spring onion in the knee high grass.
“Have a gander at this,” I shouted at my housemate, “we’re growing spring onion, man!”
“No way!” He kicked over an empty beer crate so that he could sit on top of it and started rolling a cigarette.
“Way,” I said, holding up my lucky find. “This is spring onion, man. Unmistakable!”
“I know,” he said, “I chucked that out yesterday.”
My garden is absolutely unsightly; the patches of yellow grass – so tough I fear it would kill the lawn mower if anyone tried – are separated by random slabs of concrete, overgrown with brambles. I don’t particularly feel like investing my student’s loan in my garden, especially not since I’ll probably move out again within a year or two. But when the weather is this nice, I do long for at least a square meter of soft grass where I can lay down in my bikini. My housemates said I could do whatever I liked, as long as my efforts wouldn’t make the garden “less adventurous”. Well, here’s a challenge! So after extensive research, I came up with three cheap, adventurous gardening plans.
We’ve got a stand-in-the-way trampoline in our living room and the charity shop down the road often has cool things such as swings, slides and truck tyres on offer. The trampoline would be perfect to cover up one of the grass patches, and we turn the others into tiny lawns. I think we should have a kill-the-brambles-house party first, though. Sound like great fun: a couple of art students drinking beer and running around with knives in the hot afternoon sun. Perhaps it’s safer just to use something like Roundup Tree Stump & Root Killer - and cheaper too than buying booze for everyone!
I don’t think a unicursal maze, with only a single path to the centre without branches or choices, would meet the requirement of being adventurous, but I found a very useful guide on how to make a puzzle maze. It will be an extra challenge if we make the walls out of hedges in pots, so that we can occasionally move them around. The centre of the maze should be the best spot for sunbathing, so that it’s worth the effort of finding your way.
3. Jungle with a hammock
I’m already quite tired from thinking up all the different possibilities and in all honesty, I don’t think I can really be bothered building a maze. I might just leave the garden the way it is and splurge on a good hammock. We’ve got a couple of sturdy apple trees – and who needs a lawn or swings if you can combine sunbathing and swinging with style?
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