It's no secret that this blog took a dive these last few months. And it's also no secret as to why it did, because I share those things with you, ~friendship~. Some days I get all amped up to write a post and I have it all said out in my head and then I sit down and open this up and I just don't feel like it. I get lazy, I guess. And since I've wasted all those great post ideas away, I figured I would at least let it be known how I've been doing since those sad ass deep posts I was doing about two months ago.
I'm better. Not entirely back to my spunky self, but a whole lot better. I'm still in a bad mood a good chunk of the time, but I'm not physically ill with anxiety all day every day anymore. With a mix of medication and some consistency in my exercise routine, I've been able to begin digging myself out of that hole I was suffocating in. After my sister's visit came to an end, I was really very sad. I cried a lot for a lot of days and nothing the boyfriend would do could cheer me up. I started to hate everything. I hated that I moved here, I hated that my boyfriend moved here instead of me moving home to him, I hated work, I hated eating, I hated going to the store, I hated everything. I'm on the tail end of all that sadness and anger now and I'm starting to feel brighter again.
I'm disappointed in myself that I had so many happy goals at the beginning of this year and I allowed myself to waste half the year already (yea, hi it's June!) and accomplished pretty much nothing. I could easily let the rest of 2014 fly on by while I just lay off in the distance. But I don't want to. I want to keep growing and I want to keep getting brighter. I've let too much darkness settle around my bubble lately and I'm really just over it. So stay tuned while I allow the clouds to clear and let the sunshine in!
photo credit: myself
photo edit: myself
xo, Kelly Louise
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