Teenage Pregnancy, To mature or not mature

4 years ago

My blogs will only consist of personal life experiences. Of course statistically people can always form their own opinions regarding a lot of situations. Although most of the time each individual placed in one of these statistics whether its because of race, age, or backround, are "misplaced". Some of the individuals may fit into the statistic based off circumstances at the time, but more than likely each person's situation is never investigated or explored. Simply placed in a stereo type without second thought. For example. I myself am considered to be in many statistics. Teenage pregnancy, drug usage by youth, high school drop out. And so on. Although each of these titles are true for me, my circumstances for each of these events where over looked and simply dismissed.

I am 19 years old. I got my GED instead of graduating from highschool. I dropped out of highschool and had already had a baby. I am now pregnant with my second child and my first is 3 years old. I am a African American female that would typically be seen as uneducated regardless to fact that I completed my GED. I am not in college and will not be pursuing any further education until Fall of 2013 after the birth of my baby. My story is quite an interesting one. I have a open adoption with my first daughter because I was 15 when I gave birth to her and was not ready to be a parent as much as I thought. I was blessed to have encountered a family that wanted to keep in contact with the birth parent. My daughter is beautiful and thriving with her adoptive family. Although I struggle now that I am older with the fact I decided to give up all my parenting rights I am glad that she is happy. 

Now at 19 I am getting ready to birth my second child. I am unemployed and currently living with a family member. I planned my pregnancy with a nieve mindset that love was enough to have a family. Thinking back on my hectic teenage years, I have longed for love, acceptance, and a family. What I never realized until just recently I never knew what a healthy relationship consists of. Prodominating because I have only seen and experienced negative relationships. My unborn child's father and I are no longer involved with eachother after a two year relationship. I love him very much but our relationship had no sort of foundation. We began our relationship based off sexual attraction. For me it changed although for him I believe after two years hadn't progressed much past liking me. Even still we had gotten pregnant, after I lost the first baby he insisted we try again. I am now nearly 6 months and he has changed his route in life. One that does not include me or my baby.

Family members I was around the most in my younger teenage years experienced the whole process of adoption with me. My history of poor choices has followed me up until now and I am nearly 20. This pregnancy for me is no different than when I was 14 almost 15 years old with my first child. I am unprepared for this child as I was then. The only difference now is that I have a lot more resources being an adult. Resources that can help benefit me and my child. My family has already begun to question my capabilities of raising this child, based off the fact I chose not to do so with my previous. I have already been asked if I am considering another adoption which I am completely against. I am capable of rasing this child even though my circumstances have not changed much. I have many resourceful ways to get on my feet dispite the discouragemental jugdements. 

Typically when you have failed at something once it is never overlooked. You will be judged based off of that mistake even after you succeed at it or something else. I realize I have taken a negative road, which I have not begun to even talk about. But of course having adopted out my first child I had the freedom to make the choices I did. It took me to be a fool this long to realize what I need to do to be a successful young woman. I am only beginning my journey. Even with the stereo types I have fallen under I am no less capable of succeeding in more ways than just parenting than anyone else. Teenage pregnancy is now a norm unfortunately. Some plan babies unprepared, some dont plan them but dont plan for avoiding having one. A lot of teenage pregnancy happens being nieve about its responsiblities. Many even have babies hoping to hold onto a love. Although no matter how a baby comes we are all placed into the stereo type of being young unprepared parents.

Being a young parent means what exactly? Failure? Incapability of fulfilling the child's needs because we are teenage parents? Whatever reason people feel that as young parents we are already set up to fail is pure bullshit. Maybe stupidity got some of us pregnant. But it is a concious choice to remain that way, it is a choice not to mature and become a successer. I am a teenage parent that has been in every negative stereo type. But who I was BEFORE I concieved is not who I am CHOOSING to continue to be. In fact. I will be a great parent this time around. Its all about the choice to do so.

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