Start a Revolution

3 years ago

I can remember the first time I realized how self-deprecating I was capable of being.  I was 14-years-old, sitting in my parents' basement on the computer IMing my then-boyfriend and my cousin.  My boyfriend had told me I was beautiful, and my immediate reaction was to say "OMG im ttly NOT hahahahahaha" (because yes, I absolutely talked like that on the Internet). 

It was a completely ridiculous reaction, and my cousin wasted no time in telling me that according to Cosmo, I'd have been better of thanking him because if you contradict a person often enough, they'll start to feel bad about themselves and you.  

Well Cosmo, I gotta hand it to you - you got one thing right after all these years of reading your magazines.  Somehow though, despite a licensed sex doctor's thoughts on the matter, it's become an ingrained part of female culture to put ourselves down, as though accepting a compliment or not responding to our friends' self-deprecation with some of our own is a cardinal sin we're too terrified to commit.  They weren't kidding when they told us that we're our own worst enemies, because I can't imagine ever taking that kind of shit from the bitchiest girls I've ever known, let alone from a person who's supposed to be my best friend.

Saying "I hate" rather than "I love" is a pretty negative statement if ever I heard one.  Somehow though, it's become a part of our cultural rules of etiquette that you don't respond to a person's self-hate with "Sarah, you're gorgeous!" rather than "oh my God NO WAY, have you even seen my hips?"  As though loving yourself and your body is rude, and self-hate is not only the polite thing to do, but also the expected thing.

Here's the thing though - as many things about myself as I may hate about myself (and trust me, my closest friends can point out that I regularly tell them I've got Saturn wrapped around my waist), what you say about yourself has got to make a difference.

So this week, I'm challenging myself - and you, if you'll accept it - to stop the self-hate.  Next time you look in the mirror and want to think "ughh those bags under my eyes are HUGE," think "wow, my hair looks pretty great today."  

This is an article written by one of the incredible members of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

More from health

by HelloFlo
| 20 hours ago
by Rebecca Reagan
| 2 days ago
by Christina Marfice
| 3 days ago
by Kristen Fischer
| 3 days ago
by Jen S. Glantz
| 5 days ago
by Kathleen-Mae Ramas
| 5 days ago