UPDATE on Mother Blessing
The Mother Blessing went well.
I decided at the last minuet to give her a shell I had found on the shore of Haida Gwaii. The shell was pretty precious to me so it felt right to give it to my friends who are also precious to me.
As soon as I got there I instantly forgot that I had been dying to pee and sat through the whole circle time thinking I was having sympathy labor pain. Then I remembered that I had been holding my urine in for over 4 hours and was probably having the pre symptoms of a bladder infection.
We did the circle ceremony and it included tying yarn around all our wrists from one single ball, so we are all connected. We then wear the yarn until after the baby is born. I like my red yarn bracelet.
I also had a moment or two where my social anxiety decided to kick in and I silently had a few panic attacks in my head. I believed that I was making an ass of myself and most people were pretty annoyed by me.
Most of the women there were maternity nurses. I casually approached one and told her how, after giving birth myself, I had toyed with the idea of getting into the field, (because it was such a positive experience for me,). Then I remembered that not all experiences were positive and I was not so sure I wanted to be there for that. She kind of looked at me maybe smiled and walked away.
That was when I spiraled a bit. Had I brought bad energy into the circle by even mentioning negative aspects of birthing? Was she offended by something I had done earlier and just didn’t want to talk to me at all? This is part of what I go through with the whole anxiety thing. Most times I can shrug it off, but in a room of women who are mostly strangers it is a little tougher.
Big M says I am crazy and that is how I may “perceive “things but it doesn’t mean that is how it really is. Then he offers me some tips on things I could say to be funny. (I can't even tell you what they are now because that was when I blocked him out, his jokes are awful.)
I love it when an extrovert tries to tell an introvert how to come out of their shell.
Highlight of the evening: When their four-year-old daughter proudly announced she was planning to catch the baby.
Also some amazing Guacamole AMAZING!!
Here is a guacamole tip I also learned: If you keep the pits in the bowl, the guacamole will stay green instead of going brown.
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