This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.


Ships in the Night it often seems like….Ships passing each other but no real way to connect.  It can seem so difficult to make that intial contact with someone you see from a glance, distance, or just oh so briefly. Savyy connectors are people who simply know the art of CONNECTING…

Most people see each other in the blink of an eye and then they are gone……Many people we never really meet because we simply do not have the way of connecting…….It is sort of like a gold mine waiting to be discovered but no real way to get to it….unless we create a way….So many relationships could be formed if only we could start up a conversation in some way….

Conversation starters can vary but should always be on a positive note…..It can range from “asking what time it is” to “asking directions….” Or even the old opening “Don’t I know you from somewhere….”….Pretty much anything positive and non-personal to get a conversation started…..then to keep the conversation started if it is comfortable for both parties to do so…..

There is social protocol when it comes to crossing the line into conversation…and it is important to realize that it is not always appropriate to cross those lines…..Determining if it is OK to cross over into connecting with a person is key to any successful encounter……Sometimes we simply are not meant to connect or  for social boundry reasons it is simply inappropriate….

If it is safe, comfortable, and socially acceptable to make a connection than usually most positive one liners to open a conversation will work….at least giving that one time opportunity a chance…..Creating a whole list of one liners may seem cliché, but it does work….

Ships in Passing or Ships in the Night are how most people are….to get beyond that one has to become the “SAVVY CONNECTOR…..”



I simply believe that life is filled with OPEN DOORS and CLOSED DOORS…..If we are in the flow of our Divine Assignments doors will open and close as they are meant to….When we are not in our Divine Assignment doors will not open freely or as they are supposed to….We will most often meet up with resistance of what is truly meant to be right in our lives because we are not where the door is to be found…….

Closed doors are simply in a purpose to let us know that a season in some form has closed or an opportunity that we want is not right for us….That in a higher purpose for our lives another door will open…..and one may very well close….Without closed doors we often do not have the incentive or motivation to find the new right door for our lives….Sometimes doors will even slam on us putting us in the hallways of life till a New Door is discovered….

Closed doors can come in many forms….Sometimes doors close easily and were expected…..such as a child graduating high school. We knew in advance that that era was closing and a new one would begin shortly thereafter…….There are other doors that we did not see coming such as an unexpected layoff that no one had seen coming at all…..Something like that can throw everything into a tailspin unless one truly in life has set their lives up for “unexpected Events…”

Without closed doors we would not move on to the next part of our Divine Assignment….We would stay where we are long after we had completed that part of our lives….So often when people get stuck and “Stale” is when they have overstayed their welcome at where they are at in life…..Embrace CLOSED DOORS as a way towards your future……


“ALMOST”…The Almosts that never happened.

What happens when an “ALMOST” almost happens? We simply say “Thank You God for not letting it happen…”

Everyone pretty much has had one of those near misses or near hits in life where had it happened it wouldn’t have been good……Sometimes we simply miss something by just a “hair” in life…..Sometimes we caught our decisions just in time or something intervened…Be grateful for the ALMOSTS that never happened…



I simply see people saying YES to what they really want to say NO to…..Why do people agree on things they know are not right for them or reply YES to things that they are not responsible for? I simply think in many a case it has to do with simple exhaustion….When people are exhausted they often make wrong decisions as well as saying YES to what they truly want to say NO to……

I  have watched those news shows where the good cop/bad cop get the person being interrogated to confess up even to something they did not commit….These professionals know how to break a person down and get them to a YES regardless of whether it is true or not….They simply confuse and exhaust them. Exhaustion is often a key to saying Yes to something we should be saying no to....

Self Esteem is often another reason why people say "Yes" to what they don't want.....Low self-esteem.....People also fear hurting someone else's feelings.....

Anywhich way, when we say yes to something we want to say no to we most often will create an unnecessary unhappiness for ourselves....Understanding why we are saying Yes to what we do not want and learning to say no in many a case can be one of the keys to a happy life




I am a true believer that the longer we wait for Success to happen to us the longer we will continue to wait….It is up to us to create our own success….It is up to us to knock on our own doors…..It is up to us to build a door where there isn’t one….It is up to us….

Most people wait and wait and wait for something good to happen to them….when in fact it is them that has to create it….Many don’t know how to make it happen and many are simply too lazy to make it happen. Either way, Success is likely not going to happen till one gets out there and begins to push Success up that ever steep hill…..

Our lives are created by us…by us taking that initiative…by us doing all we can to make it happen….Very rarely does someone come by and make our success happen without us initating it in some way….Make your dreams happen…Make your own Successes in life happen…



DOES HEARING “NO” SCARE YOU? Tips to get past “NO…”

None of us like to hear the answer “no” to something we really want….so many do not even ask….They simply “wait” and hope for a "yes"….So many do not follow through upon requests they have previously made that have met with no answer….Often it is us who has to initiate that answer we want to get….even if it is a “NO….”

So much success is stopped beforehand due to the fear of a “NO…” No is only a no for the moment….One then at least knows to push forward in some other way in life to get what they want rather than idly sit there waiting to hear a "Yes" that may never come….Yes or no it doesn’t matter….we must get to the place that we can push on….Don’t fear a No for it may push you on to the YES you want…



Anchors are such an important part of life….We all needs things or people that anchor us….That give us a sense of consistency and stability in our lives….especially when things are spinning out of control. I always call those achors or safe places “Grandma’s House” because they are things that give us comfort and a sense that everything will be OK…..

Anchors can come in many different forms….Each anchor can look differently. For some it can simply be a place one goes such as a church. For others it can be an older person they go to to get wisdom…While for others it simply could be the book they read to lift their Souls….Anchors are simply places or people or things we go to to find comfort and direction…

The time to create anchors is not when we need them but when we don’t need them…..For in life there will always be a need for an anchor at some point in one’s life…..What are your anchors?



Through the years my weight has bounced around. I have been very very skinny to what I call “comfortble…” I have ranged from a size “zero” to a 14……and now I fall somewhere in between……I have loved myself at all my shapes and sizes and to me it is a matter of being healthy…..

I see so many women trying to be ultra thin….Although that may be nice it requires a lot of denial in many cases and I simply am not sure I want to do that any longer in my life. I enjoy eating….I love great food….I run daily, work out good at the gym daily, and I do eat healthy and juice……but I simply do not want to put the demands on myself to be a perfect size to please the “world’s perception” of what the perfect woman should look like…..

Being healthy is the key to a happy life…..Whether one is thin or comfortable it becomes a personal decision….Either way one needs to love their selves equally at any weight….or at any juncture of life….for life is a journey….not a destination….and most certainly not a dress size….




I truly believe that people who LIVE READY tend to be far more successful in life…..Most people it seems are not prepared for success or for failure…To me that is one of the main reasons people fail….They are simply not preparing either way in life….

There are negative things that we can foresee or control to a degree that take place….If we prepare ahead of time for many of them we can either avert them or navigate through the storms a lot better…..Some things we cannot avoid but we can prepare ourselves in the event something we don’t “like” happens…

Opportunities do come to us in life. Wonderful ones….but so many people are not prepared and ready for when an opportunity arrives….The opportunity simply passes them by quickly because they either didn’t recognize it as an opportunity or simply wasn’t prepared for the opportunity to take hold….

I simply say “LiVE READY” to create a successful future….




I got to thinking about how important it is to balance the negative with the positive…..When we get around people who have significant problems and feel the need to listen or to help them….It then becomes important to balance that out with people who are doing well and achieving their dreams……No matter how good our intentions are or how much someone needs us when we get involved in their “energy” and listening to what is going on in their lives it reshifts who we are and what is going on in our lives….Their energy can quickly become our energy….

I have seen it time and time again someone tries to help another person only to find themselves in the same or similar situation……The “energy” rubbed off….Everything is energy of one form or the other….Our minds simply picks up on what we are around….
Helping others can be a noble thing but we must balance it out with people who are excited about where they are at the moment, doing something positive, and life is working out for them….Their energy will help balance out any negative eneregies we picked up from the other people….

Saturating one’s mind with positive input is a good thing….It helps keep us pointed in the right directions for our lives….Whether it comes to health, finances, religion, relationships, or any other aspect of our lives we want to keep on the positive roads……


BE READY IN LIFE….Meet up with your Success….

We all have to think ahead if we want to be successful in life in any area of our lives…..We need to prepare for when an opportunity arrives and we need to prepare in case a problem arises. Both are part of getting to success…
No one likes to think that life will bring problems or obstacles….none of us like to think that….and yet, life is full of obstacles….Successful people know that, expect for obstacles, and prepare for obstacles….Successful people are constantly being met with problems of one sort or the other….They simply understand the importance of preparedness….

Success people also realize the importance of preparing for the right opportunities when they arrive…..While they are waiting they are doing everything they can think of to prepare and be ready for that wonderful day the door to their opportunity presents itself…..They use everyday to prepare for all the good stuff in life…..

Being Ready for life….is what it is about for successful people…..Life is full of problems and full of opportunities….When we are prepared for both we are likely to be successful….



Sometimes in life we simply should anticipate the worst and hope for the best…..When anticipating for the worst we are able to often see what we might miss if we are simply anticipating the best…..

I like to think positive….That is simply how I am….I am a person who is positive minded….and yet, I realize life can be filled with surprises that are negative….We cannot predict everything and I never promote worrying….but I do promote anticipation….anticipating what we might not be seeing or will see…..

When we anticipate much of the time what we anticipated doesn’t ever materialize and that is a great thing….but if it had we would have been ready…..

Anticipate what can go wrong so we can do our best at avoiding those events and create a successful outcome…



When our worst fears happen…what do we do?

Sometimes when our worst fears happen we have to make snap decisions while other times we simply have to pause and reflect and let things work out on their own…..Sometimes it simply is one step at a time…..Sometimes in life all we can do is take things as they come…..We would all like a full clear plan…but that is not always how things work….

The key is to do our parts right….We must do everything right to the best of  our abilities. Our decisions must be based on integrity and what is right even when we are not sure what direction it will all lead to….

When worst fears happen it is simply a time  that can be filled with chaos and confusion and the best thing we can do is to make all great decisions and hold on tight to get through it…..Somethings in life we can prevent and somethings we cannot…..Doing all we can to prevent the wrong things from happening can be a good thing….but the things we cannot stop we have to make great decisions and hold on to our faith… get through them…..



I often say that every problem contains a blessing and every blessing contains a problem…..In my opinion both are true…..but every blessing almost always contains a CON-ARTIST as well…..

By Con-Artist I mean someone who wants what you have created in your life….A blessing God has blessed you with….can be sabotaged if we are not careful….It can be one’s marriage, one’s finances, one’s job, one’s reputation….It can simply be almost anything of value to you that you consider a blessing….Inside of every blessing is someone who would like to have what you have and if an opportunity arises will likely try to sabotage it in some way….



Life seems often to be about hurdles…sometimes one right after the other…..Rarely does life go entirely smooth….Sometimes it does and when it does it is fabulous….but most of the time it does not….That is simply the way life is…..

Learn to be an Olympic Hurdle Jumper in life….The more we realize that life will have hurdles the better we will get at jumping over them….If we want to win the race in life we have to learn to jump high….over the hurdles….



I think everyone in life has fears….Most people hide them, but I pretty much think everyone has fears of one kind or another….Some perhaps have some rationality behind them while many don’t….Any which way fears are fear rational or not…..Sometimes the best thing one can do is simply acknowledge that they have them and face them rather than let them live in the shadows of their mind….

They say fears rarely come true….and probably that is true….but there are fears that sometimes do come true….but as the saying goes….most don’t….The issue with not acknowledging them (facing them) is that they linger in the shadows of one’s mind……When we acknowledge them even by writing them down and looking at “what if’s” it can at times bring a calm about the whole thing.

I feel that simply by creating a list of fears one can see what it is more clearly what they are fearful of…Best case scenerios and worst case scenerios…..When we look at both sides of the coin we tend to take the “punch” out of the fear….It also gives us time to consider what we would do in the event that the fear actually happened….
No one really likes to think about fears….No one likes to have to acknowledge they have any….No one wants to think of the worst case scenario….And yet, we all have them…..and until we understand them we are unlikely to get rid of them or at least come to some resolution with them….

Fears are not pretty….There truly are healthy fears such as a bear running at us in the woods….The fear causes us to get away….Unhealthy fears are irrational and simply healthy fear turned bad…..Coping with fears is an age old quest….but it is something we want to come to terms with so we can continue on leading a happy and fulfilling life…



I think people get so caught up into what someone close to them is not doing right that they forget to see what is right……We all can get critical of those we love expecting more than they are doing at the moment…….The relationships become tension filled because there simply is so much “expectation” going on…..Sometimes we simply have to put down our expectations and enjoy the relationship for what it is and who the people in our lives are…..

The people that we are closest to tend to mean the most to us….and yet those are the very same people we put the most demands or expectations on….People do this with their marriages, their children, their parents, their in-laws, their close friends….The list can go on and on….But people rarely do this with people they don’t know or care about that much…..

So why is that? I think it is because we have emotional investment as well as are depending on them to make us look good. We also love them and want the best for them…..And yet, is putting the weight of all these demands the right thing for them or the relationship….?

I think if we can lessen our load of expectations on those we love….let them be who they are…perfect or imperfect….we will be so much better off….Their guards will go down…the relationship will tend to be more relaxed…and everyone is likely to get along better…

Conversations seem to open up and then flow when our guards get left down and our expectations are put down….Expectations are not necessarily a bad thing but they can get out of hand….where others simply feel they must constantly live up to our expectations and if they don’t they in someway have failed us…..When we simply let them know that we love them for who they are with no “buts” attached to that love….relationships tend to flow…

Letting go of unnecessary or overdemanding expectations can be one of the best things we can do for our relationships and for ourselves….



What happens when a person goes to the doctor and hears those words “I am sorry to tell you, but……?”….If we live long enough it is always a possibility…….So many people simply do not know how to take in such news when they hear it for the first time….It comes as a thud to the stomach…..It is simply more than their mind can take in…

A Diagnosis of anykind can be traumatic for a person….whether it is a life threatening one with a time line attached or simply a life changing one where one has to alter their lives in some way……Seeing our own human frailty exposed through a diagnosis simply can be one of the most difficult things a person can face….

In the face of other life traumas and challenges one simply has some degree of feeling of being in control…..When a diagnosis comes into play often the variables are unknown or out of our control…..So how does one deal with a new found diagnosis that is anything but good news….?

 I would like to say that when we consider that many people at some point in their lives will face this…even people that think that it won’t be them but someone else… simply creates a momentum in many people to live NOW….to begin really living life on purpose today….not to put off being happy…..that life truly is not forever and often great health is not forever….To truly live life fully in the best of ways....

When one hears “diagnosis” the words resonate over and over long after they have left the doctors office….Whether it is more minor changes or a major challenge to get through one has to allow themselves time to digest the information they have just receieved….Get the right professional resources of everykind that is applicable to their situation…..and take it one step at a time making the very best decisions that they can make based upon the right information…..

Often when people are first diagnosed they go into an anger stage that comes in after the shock. They then go through various stages such as depression and a feeling of helplessness….All thse feelings are somewhat normal and that is all the more reason the right professionals are so important to help them sort out everything that needs to be sorted through. Professionals play a key role during times like these….

Great family and friends can be one of the biggest supporters during these initial times as well as later down the line…..There is nothing like the comfort of those who will listen to endless hours of fears and challenges….Friends and family in our lives at this time can be more valuable than any amount of gold….

Taking the time to sort through each issue and each bit of information as it comes in is important….to make all the right decisions….The right decisions are critical at this time….Sometimes one doesn’t have a lot of time to research, but most of the time they do…..Get great information to make the very best of decisions……


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