This weekend I have the great fortune to be spending some girl time in Palm Springs with some of my brilliant and fabulous friends. We’re going to lounge around a pool in 90 degree weather, drink cocktails, and read trashy novels. Sounds great, right? I am so excited!
That is…until I think about spending most of that time hanging around a pool in my bathing suit. That skimpy piece of clothing that took way too many hours of my life to find. That tiny garment that requires I contort myself to shave in all the necessary places. Ugh. Are you kidding me?
Why did I suggest THIS kind of a get-away? I’m suddenly pissed off at myself for not recommending something like downhill skiing.
Immediately my mind goes to scheming a coverup strategy. Tunic? Long tank top? T-shirt? Oh and how do I make it look like I’m not purposefully TRYING to cover up my body. That would be even worse. How embarrassing.
And I’m not the only one thinking this. One of the other girls told me that she actually thought about not coming with because she’s feeling shitty about wearing her bathing suit. What the F?!? (that’s exactly what I said to her, by the way)
It’s kooky. Both of us are slim people. We’re going to be hanging out with our FRIENDS – the people that would love us even if we were 50 pounds heavier.
Yet, that insane, bitchy voice is living inside of our head telling us that this is something to worry about. Hell, it tells us to not participate in LIFE because we have body issues. We would consider forgoing a rich, juicy, hilarious time with friends because we may have a little muffin top going on. Sounds crazy, but you can relate. Right?
Logically I can (and will) quiet that little voice in my head by instructing her to “shut the hell up, crazy bitch!” Yet she will inevitably come back with her pissy, negative BS. That little voice is such a curse that most of us have.
Sometimes that voice in our head isn’t even our voice. I’m lucky that I’ve never had anyone in my life who was a dick about the size and shape of my body. But lots of women – maybe even you – have been told shitty things by mothers, sisters, friends, boyfriends, husbands about their bodies – and those toxic comments can stick. You can’t change the fact that people have said craptastic things to you (jerks!), but you can determine how much influence you want them to have. Don’t let that person and their shit control you today. You have living to do, my friend!
You don’t have to let that little voice win – your loving voice is louder. She doesn’t control you – you can control her. She can be quieted – if you tell her to shut her trap. But it’s not easy and dampening her volume will take some time.
It all comes down to self love. Side note here – I really can’t stand that phrase “self love.” It sounds all dippy new-agey or like masterbation. Not that either is bad, but what I’m taking about is truly respecting and loving who you are – dimples on your ass and all. Treating yourself as if you were your very best friend. Being kind and understanding. And giving yourself a damn break because you’re pretty frickin’ awesome. Y’know self love. Ha!
So in the spirit of taking my own advice…I will be wearing my bathing suit this weekend. Probably with a cover-up at times (I have a really cute one!), but I’m going to try and not stress about it. Sure some of the other girls are skinnier, but I’m healthy, fit, and think I’m pretty damn rad. So whatever! I’m going to remind my shitty little voice inside of that when she comes back.
Can you relate? If so, tell me about a situation where your body issues stopped you from participating in fun.
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