There are times on this road of TTC (trying to conceive) where I have to catch myself from falling down the well of depression. I look at the last two years as a transformation of who I am and what our marriage is and there are times where I feel like I have failed. Why can't I get pregnant? Why did my other babies not survive? It should not be this difficult - the natural process of procreating. I even go further at times thinking - What black girl has trouble having a baby? I am the only one in my family with this issue. Then HE reminds me of who he is in my life - Yes God! There is no failure in HIM this is apart of HIS plan. Could it be, because I have not been successful in this endeavor. I still cannot escape from time to time feeling like I have failed my husband too. Denying him his opportunity to be a father but then I snap back and know I am doing all I can on on my end medically and awaiting God to do the rest because all his promises are yes and amen. Despite feeling failed it is knowing that HE is near always to prosper me. Using these last two years to grow me into the mother I need to be because he does not live in failure but in life. As long as HE lives in me I cannot be a failure.
Live, Laugh, Love and Learn with God
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