I'm back. I used to write here daily as I began the process of trying to lose weight and I wrote almost every day as I lost 40 pounds and then I seemingly disappeared. But I didn't. Ha! That would mean I got really really thin. I didn't, but nor did I gain back lots of weight. Instead I went on a side journey that was really good, but has neared its end.
I discovered eating Real Food which we did by taking the whole30 challenge (www.whole30.com), but is also similar to ideas by Michael Pollan. What I learned is that when we cleared our house of all the processed foods or foods with additives, chemicals and colors and began to learn how to really cook, we made some darn good things. I also learned to see the difference in my body.
When I eat sugars, I can't stop. Of course, I can. I have will power and all that junk and I calorie counted with success in the past, but really...at some odd chemical level, I can't stop. I yearn for those foods and I don't get my fill. When I eliminate those foods (sugars, flours and processed things), I don't have that problem. I'm a-okay smelling McDonald fries and not wanting one.
There have been a lot of good articles in the news over the last year that have supported this idea about the brain's relationship with certain foods. I like the articles and current research because it doesn't blame me for being overweight - instead it helps me understand why I struggle to eat appropriate foods in appropriate amounts.
It's not all emotional eating! It's my body wanting something and I open that door of wanting when I eat certain ways. Of course, it is a bit of a catch-22 because I have to STOP eating those foods for enough days to turn off my brain cravings.
I'm rather caught in that trap right now.
I've been blogging my experiences doing this real foods eating over at whole30, but I miss this forum and I know the daily blogging is good for me and hopefully helpful to someone else struggling with similar things.
All in all - things are good. I'm behaving a bit as if I'm depressed, but when I look at the big picture and not just the last two weeks, things are good.
I began meditating in January and struggled to do it daily, but I think it's a good thing to do. However, I stopped! It's SO much easier not to meditate, but I think I was happier and more centered when I was. I ate super well during January, but in late February I got sick and then did some baking with white sugar (instead of paleo baking which uses no flour and only added sugars like honey or maple syrup) and that triggered some old behaviors. And since then, I've been sneaking in croissants and chocolate bars and bake sale cookies.
I have been exercising intermittently. In January I did great, but in February it fell apart when I got sick. I'm sitting on the sofa aware that my energy is low, my mood is depressed and my body is blah. I need to change these things around and I know I can - it just takes a couple days of sticking to it. And that's why I'm back.
I did gain weight back in November and December when we traveled, but I lost a good chunk of that. I still hover about the healthy BMI zone and my goal continues to be smack dab in the center of that healthy BMI. It's easy to forget that's my goal. But it is and so I shall begin trying to tighten my own reins and do the things that work:
1. Meditate every day (even if just for a few minutes)
2. Exercise every day for a minimum of 20 minutes (even if it's just a walk)
3. Eat our clean foods at home
4. Buy no chocolate, baked goods or sugar products for the next few days (this is easy to say now as I'm full of Cadbury Milk Chocolate, but will be a challenge tomorrow morning)
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