As a blogger, I have the creative license to decide how much I share about the details of my life on my blog. I usually tend to stick to the surface, writing about the shiny, happy moments of life... like race recaps, recipes and restaurant reviews. Often I avoid digging deeper, choosing to keep the struggles, trials and daily frustrations I experience off my blog. I was taught at a young age that "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" and I have unconsciously incorporated this into my writing.
If I don't have anything positive to write/blog about, I tend to not write/blog at all.
This might explain the radio silence I have experienced over the past week in world of blogging and social media. There is not one major thing that I can point to for the disappearance of my usually positive attitude but several small things that have piled up that have kept me from blogging.
My nagging knee injury that involves an almost daily discussion with my husband about if I should give up running. A visit to the doctor for a lump I found in my breast which led to follow-up appointment with the Breast Diagnostic center. A phone call early in the week about an unexpected death in my husband's family which meant he and my in-laws drove back to Louisiana for a few days. As a result, a chance to experience life as a single career mom for 48 hours. Praying for my mom who had surgery in West Virginia almost 1,000 miles away.
Writing all of that down was overwhelming. Which is exactly why I have avoided writing this past week.
One thing that got me through this past week was surrounding myself with things that were comforting. I allowed both kids and the dog to sleep in my bed Monday night. When both kids woke up with colds and barking seal-like coughs, I kept them home and we hung out in our pajamas all day. To cheer us all up, we baked Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal cookies from Recipe Girl, which I re-named "stay-at-home sick cookies." For dinner, we made individual pizza braids and I let the kids pile on their own choice of filling. After bathing the kids, we all piled into one bed and read library books until it was time to go to sleep.
On Wednesday morning, I completed the follow-up tests at the Breast Diagnostic center and sat in the doctor's office waiting for the results. Since the kids had kept me so busy the day before, I didn't have time to let myself fall into the black hole of anxiety and worry. When I stood at the edge of the black hole that morning, I realized I had no control over the outcome and took a step back. Ten minutes later I was leaving the office with a clear diagnosis and orders to follow-up with my doctor in six months.
Later that night, the kids and I celebrated the return of their daddy with the leftover stay-at-home sick cookies. The next morning my mom successfully made it through her surgery, even though I was not there to pace anxiously in the waiting room. My husband resumed his role of getting the kids to and from school/daycare and as of this morning, life has pretty much returned to normal.
What I realized this week is that my writing/blogging does not always have to be shiny or pretty and taking care of myself and family does not always involve eating right and exercise. Sometimes the best part of the week can just be hanging out with the kids in our pajamas all day and eating cookies.
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