Infertility, IVF and other Unmentionables

6 years ago

In 2006, just barely a month and a half into my marriage I became pregnant. Having never been pregnant before and having sex on a whim when I was fertile, I doubted one time would be the charm. But it was. Sadly, I didn’t recognize the signs until I had spotting that never turned into a full period and it began to worry me. Having only been in the new city for a month and half, I did not have an ob/gyn so I called my doctor in NY. He told me to take a pregnancy test and lo and behold I was pregnant.

My “doctor” told me to immediately go to the emergency room to get checked out. What followed was the most frazzled week of my life, I was pregnant. But, after the sonogram, they could see no embryo, I was sent to an ob/gyn on Monday.

They took a blood test but no sonogram - I was to come back on Wednesday for that.

On Wednesday as I lay on the table and my husband held my hand, we saw the the wrong place. Because of my ectopic pregnancy, one of my tubes was going to be immediately the next day. When I called my NY doctor to ask his opinion, he was incensed that the procedure had not happened immediately because possible rupture of my tube could lead to death.

After the procedure, I was concerned about my ability to conceive. I was told to wait 3 months before attempting to conceive again and in the interim I visited a new doctor.

After I told her my history, her first words were, “you could possibly be infertile, we will do some tests and we may need to start IVF”, I was devastated.

This woman lacked compassion by talking about infertility to a woman that recently lost a baby. Needless to say I never visited her again and miraculously I became pregnant on my second attempt, following that ectopic pregnancy.
I count myself lucky because there are so many women who do have IVF and it isn’t successful. Many times we don’t hear the stories unless a baby is a result.

Author Holly Finn has “come out of the closet” about her experience with IVF -- although she has tried two transfers she has not been successful, yet. Here is an excerpt of her book from the Wall Street Journal:

"I’m a single woman in my early 40s. The odds of getting pregnant are conspicuously slim. For a woman my age, according to the American Pregnancy Association, the chance of having a baby via IVF is between 6% and 10%. That number decreases with every failed attempt, so now my odds are even lower.

While there are many resources and support systems for women who are pregnant, there are very few available for women undergoing IVF and failing to conceive. Holly decided to speak out about her experience in the hope that she can help others.

Here is a video with Holly talking about her book and her experience:

Although I have a four year old son, I really would like to have another child. I’m in the midst of a divorce and am in my early 40s so my chances are very slim, (unless I meet Prince Charming tomorrow.) Who knows, IVF may very well be in my future.

It is my hope that women will flock to the bookstore or electronic devices and purchase this book. It sheds light on the issue for those of us who have never undergone IVF and it provides women who have undergone IVF an opportunity to read about the experience of another woman who has yet to experience success.

This is an article written by one of the incredible members of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

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