Well so far so good the keeping the drink thing right has gone good. I took a look in the mirror and hate what I was looking at...even if I lose all of the weight my skin will never look right. I can only pray for a miracle that I will either win the lottery or can save enough to get it cut off. Having bat wings and an extra butt on my thighs sux and to top it all off with my last child I had to have a C section and well I have an apron.....I begged the dr. to help her turn and he said no. She was the smallest of my three kids and all he could say no. What happened is that he did not want to do his job she was not in distress. Either way the dammage is done. Oh yea and that glorious back fat....can it get any better.
I know that I did this to myself but its still not fair because even with all of the effort put in it will not ever get me to where I will want to be. People will still stare and critizise maybe even mock and that is the last thing that I need. All of the years growing up listening to what others say is how I got here in the first place....Now I look back and think how stupid I was for listening. Hind Site Is 20/20. I was taller than the other girls and yes a little bigger but by no means fat. I see them now of days and know that in the back of their minds they think that they won.
Well back to the real reason I am here the weight loss and my health. The next thing that I want to do is eliminate loaf bread from my life. I do not mean pasta, rice, dough and the such but just bread. When I eat it I cannot eat just one slice and well that is not good. I am going to be real. I can eat up to 6 or more slices in one sitting. To others that may be sickening but to me it was normal....I did not pay attention to what I was eating. It is an ulgy habit but when you are upset and do not care it can be just an everyday thing. I have to remember that I am doing this for me not anyone else because even though it is said that it affects others....and it may.....they are not living in my body and nor I theirs. They do not deal with not being able to move well or have to take meds or are limited to what they can do because they cannot fit. I have ranted enough for today. Wish me best please. Prayers are very welcome.
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