I just started a social club to help empower and support other women going through the challenges of baby-making. It's called the RubyFeather Social Club. All are welcome to join
We sit across from each other in the waiting room of the Infertility Clinic. Sometimes we are with a partner or a friend. Sometimes we come alone. We see each other at our IVF and IUI orientations – 5 hours of medial info and tears. Small talk at break over coffee. Downcast eyes. Beyond that, we don’t speak.
Now we are embroiled in the process. We talk to friends about it, but they don’t understand. How can they truly? Our partner is in the thick of it with us. Sometimes people ask us too many questions, or just tell us to “relax and it’ll happen!!”
We see each other again at the ultrasound clinic. First it’s the “high achievers” in suits, in line before 6am, then, the rest of us, somewhat discheveled. We each carry a folder full of numbers and stats, a map of the maze-like hospital, and our medical protocall. Red folders for IVF. Green for egg donation. Still, we don’t speak.
Eventually, we get so overcome by the process that we crave the comraderie of other women going through the experience. We join online chats and groups, and read countless blogs. We speak through the computer. A little echo in a long tunnel of silence.
So many times, I’ve wanted to talk to you. I wanted to say “I UNDERSTAND.” I’ve wanted to give you a hug if you needed it, or a smile just to commiserate. It sucks. It really does! And noone knows it better than someone experiencing it as you are.
I’m the woman that sits across from you getting her blood drawn for the millionth time. You can also find me down in the ultrasound room. I’m the lady on line in the grocery store, buying pineapple and avoiding dairy. I’m your online BFF.
Let’s smile at one another next time. A big cheshire cat smile. Emanating like light from a once dark space.
I love this post as I often try to make eye contact with others in the waiting room at my IVF clinic. Everyone just looks at the floor and it’s a shame as we are all there with a similar story. Hopefully this post will help others look away from the floor and into someone’s face for a change.
Thanks for that : )
I just decided to start a Meetup group in the Boston Area for women who are trying to conceive. We aim to support, inspire and empower each other on this journey! If you are interested in joining, or have a friend in Mass., please email me, or check out our link athttp://www.meetup.com/RubyFeather-Boston/
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