By Shypedia: Visit us at www.shypedia.com
Another key ingredient to have in overcoming shyness is to develop and practice social and communication skills to change the way you act and behave during social interaction with others. It is very similar to developing skills in a sport, craft, trade, musical instrument, singing, or acting. It requires hard work, diligence, perseverance and practice. Think of it as conditioning that you need to build at a gym in order to improve your physical condition-in this case your social condition. You will get better at and improve your social conditioning by developing, rehearsing, practicing, and then trying out and actually using basic communication and conversational skills on a daily basis. Be patient, diligent and overcome your fears by putting your self in social situations where you can use them.
Enjoy the following hilarious video which demonstrates how one person sought to overcome his fear of rejection by making at least one request a day for 100 days, including asking a Krispy Kreme employee to accept his order for five doughnuts linked together in the colors and shape of the Olympic symbol.
Make Eye Contact and Smile.
Making eye contact and smiling creates the perception that you are approachable and friendly and opens the door for you to engage in conversation with another person.
Use the 3 C’s (Confidence, Charm and Charisma).
Be self-assured, confident and believe in yourself. Assertiveness is also an important element of confidence. Charm can include being engaging, warm, witty and fun. Charisma includes characterics that provide you with the “it” factor such being dynamic, energetic, and enthusiastic and having other traits that allows a person to stand out of the crowd.
You probably have heard the line in a movie where the female character says to the male character: “You got me at Hello”. Saying “Hi”, “Hello” or “Good Morning” (or if you are more familiar with the person: “Nice to See you”) is a simple way to start a conversation in a warm and friendly manner. Say it often during the day.
Do Not Over-think; Engage and Talk.
You should actively engage and talk on a daily basis. Do not over-think or take too much time to process information. Practice talking while you are thinking.
Ask Open Ended Questions to Find Out the Other Person’s Interests.
Use closed-ended questions sparingly to initiate and probe (those that lead to a “Yes” or “No” response), and always follow-up with open-ended questions that begin with a qualifier such as “What”, “How”, “Why”, “I’d love to hear about” to find out more about the person you are talking to, their interests, their likes/dislikes, what they are doing, where they have been (travels, etc.). People by human nature love to talk about themselves.
Use Compliments Frequently.
Compliments are a good way to make other people feel good about themselves and talking to you. Compliment the person you are talking to.
Be Charming, Witty and Funny.
People like to talk to those who are not too serious, but are charming, witty and funny, make them laugh or feel warm and fuzzy. Be energetic, enthusiastic, pleasant, compassionate and smile a lot when you are talking to someone. Light and playful sarcasm can be used in a fun manner, but the key is keep it lively and fun.
Use Mirroring Techniques and Be Expressive Voice. Try mirroring the vocal tones
and tempo of different people. When he or she uses vocal gesture. Follow similar verbal patterns. If they are loud, upbeat, excited follow-up with a similar rhythm and melodic tempos in your voice and gestures. Rehearse and then use varying your vocal tones from loud to soft, energetic to upbeat. For practice record or video yourself with your cell or computer camera. Then look and listen to your voice and delivery and exaggerate and increase pitch, volume and vary your tone and energy level.
Follow breathing patterns of the other person by looking at the other person’s chest and shoulder movements and be in unison with the other person.
Try mirroring the body movements and posture of the other person. If they lean in….you lean in. When the other person uses hand gestures you make a similar hand gesture.
Social Situational Training.
Embrace and continuously put yourself in social situations which will require you to interact and converse with other people often, such as a group setting at clubs, activities and sports. Always use the social and communication skills you have developed and practiced in and push the boundaries of your comfort level during social situations and interactions that have previously brought on symptons of fear and anxiety. It is time for your to act and not react during social interactions.
Interact Face to Face
Social media, messenging, solo gaming and texting reduce daily face-to-face interactions with other people. Without regular practice in social and communication skills there is a failure to develop adequate social skills, which contributes to awkwardness when having to interact with others. This can result in fewer emotional exchanges that promote intimacy and sharing. Virtual reality should not be used to replace live interaction and human connection. Engage and converse on a daily basis in face to face interaction with other people.
Copyright. All Rights Reserved. September 2012-Shypedia; Photos by Freedigitalphotos.net
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