Gossip: and everything else that comes out of my mouth

5 years ago

I heard someone say today, "Before you open your mouth, ask yourself three questions:

1. Is it true?

2. Is it necessary?

3. Is it kind?

You mean, think before I speak?  Thats almost completely impossible for a girl born in New Jersey!  I can spew gossip out of my mouth almost all day long just to make the time pass. "Did you hear what so and so said about so and so?"  "Can you believe she did that?"  "What do you think is gonna happen with he/she/it them?" 

Another wise woman once told me that if your sentences are starting with the "She's, He's, It's, or They's.... you're in S.H.I.T."  And she was right. Ok so how do I change this?

Before I engage anyone in a conversation, let me monitor myself in this way: Is what I'm about to say actually true, or is it just my opinion?  Is it going to effect a change by saying it?  Is it even worth saying? Remember, feelings are not facts.  And lastly is what I'm about to say kind? 

When I read about this concept I immediately thought of religous monks, who don't speak at all.  What a novel concept.  Silence, unless absolutely necessary. The ability to speak, cry, yell, shout, and communicate verbally is in fact a gift.  But have we as a society abused the gift of language by constantly spewing out negative thoughts, opinions, and gossip? Have we been busy redirecting negative attention from ourselves to others through the gift of gab?  Or do we use the gift of language to spread love, hope, strength, and to help others?

My goal for today is to ask myself before I speak those three little questions.  Is it true? Is it necessary? And is it kind? 


True:  Am I lying or exaggerating? Do I even really know this for sure or am I guessing?  Is this my opinion? Am I passing on something I heard?

Necessary: If I don't say this, what will happen?  If the answer is nothing, then perhaps its not worth saying.  Is what I'm about to say going to change a situation?  Is it going to bring positive or negative energy to the world?  Is it truly that pressing? If my words are not uplifting, do I really need to say them?

Kind: Did I say it with love?  Did I have resentment in my voice? Did I say one thing and mean another?  Did I offer to help when I truly did not want to get involved?  Are there underlying negative thoughts going on in my mind right now?  If so, maybe its time to take a step back and concentrate on myself.  What can I do for myself to make me happy?  And once I am feeling at peace with myself, maybe I can truly be kind and open to others. Treat everyone like you would treat a total stranger or someone you would like to impress. Is the ultimate result of my speech to spread positive or negative energy? 

Let's practice this notion, just for today and make our words positive, powerful, and meaningful. And thanks to the inspirational woman who passed this on to me today.

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