Getting Your "Self" Back: Step #4: Lie to Dr. Oz; Feel Guilty; and Have an Affair With Your Nutribullet

3 years ago

I admit it! I lied to Dr. Oz.  In person.  In the airport.  My husband had just given me the news that Dr. Oz was interviewing people in the airport and asking them their secrets for staying healthy and in shape.  Now, I always watched whatever I put in my mouth, so eating healthy wasn't a stretch, but...I have to admit I stashed the granola bar I was eating and ran to Dr. Oz.

His assistant took my name and phone number and planted the camera on me as Dr. Oz posed the question.  "What's your secret for staying healthy and in shape?," he asked.  I smiled, gazed into the camera, and proudly announced, "I drink green drinks twice a day!"  I had no idea that there would be a followup question and was caught off guard when Dr. Oz asked, "What do you put inside?" " Kale," I responded, tentatively. He looked perplexed and asked "Just kale?"  I nodded.  At the moment, I couldn't think of one other ingredient to add to my imaginary green drink.  The last thing I remember is that Dr. Oz asked if the the proof was in the pudding and asked me to twirl around.

As I was twirling, I slowly realized that I had just lied to Dr. Oz.  So what did I do?  Guilt-ridden, I raced from the airport, stopped at Target, and bought myself a Nutribullet.  Speed-reading the recipes and instruction manual in the car, I stopped at the produce store and grabbed kale, bananas, carrots, chia seeds, almonds, lemons, parsley, spinach, and anything else that wasn't tied down. 

From that day on, I made green drinks for breakfast and green drinks for lunch.  I chatted about my green drinks, shared green drink recipes, dreamed about green drinks, and documented my daily intake. 

In short, I began a sordid affair with my Nutribullet. I was falling helplessly in love. I couldn't stop myself.  The best thing about it was that my Nutribullet was falling in love with me, too.  All of a sudden, my hair was thicker, my skin was brighter, my mind was clearer, and my body felt better.  Yes, by lying to Dr. Oz and having an affair with my Nutribullet, I was completing Step#4 and well on my way to Getting My "Self" Back.

 

 

 

 

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