I think most friendships overall are pretty good……I have come to learn that unless there is something majorly wrong with a relationship/in a relationship/ or about another person most relationships can survive and thrive even with a lot of imperfections…. People are not perfect so why should relationships?
I went through the stage of pushing away people who were not “perfect…” and what I found was a big empty room of no one, but myself of course, lol…..Far from it….I am not perfect either…but I do think I come close…..I do work very hard at being a great friend….I am the type of person who friends people in need and am there for them when they need me……I do like to think that most people would do back for me what I did for them if ever needed….But what I discovered is that most people are fair-weather friends…..At first that really bothered me….but now I have come to realize that even fair-weather friends can have a good place in my life….
I don’t expect much from fair weather friends…..but I do have fun with them. Unfortunately some fair-weather friends are only fair weather when they feel like it…Yes that irks me some, but I have gotten used to it…..I have simply come to the conclusion that in spite of people’s failings most people are pretty good and I usually can find a limited space to keep them as friendships in my life….I just simply don’t count on them for a lot of anything….
Then I have friends who I can count on for the big things but they are not pleasant to have a good time with. They will try to burst any happy bubble they find….Overall these people are pretty good too….no major faults I can’t live with….So I keep them at a limited place in my life too…
Then there are people that are miserable to be around. They have an edge about them….They are edgy and jump at “you” the first opportunity they get. You never know what will set them off….I don’t like people like this to be around and tend to stay pretty clear of them….I can be nice, friendly perhaps but I simply don’t get close to them…
Nasty people I totally avoid if I can….The first sign someone is that way….I walk the other way as fast as I can….No sense being around someone like that….They lead to no good….
I recently had a friend that irked me a bit. I asked her a very small fair-weather favor ….and even that she simply wouldn’t do….I distanced myself at first being really perturbed but then I realized that is who she is….It isn’t about me….It is about her…..She is stuck in her life…..really stuck….but a nice person…..She is sort of one of those people I say “peep out the window of life and if it is raining she hides inside….” And so I simply have come to accept her as she is….and she will hopefully remain a friend….although a very very fair-weather friend at that…
Another woman friend wanted to control me…..I don’t easily let others control me at all…..so I had to distance quite a bit…..Not sure how that one will go….I think we will be friends…..Occasional friends….but I doubt ever daily friends again…..I like lots of freedom to be my fabulous self and when one wants to control me to keep them feeling a hold on the relationship I simply had to step back….and step away….
Friendships are funny things….I think when we accept friendships as imperfect we can do a lot better. Gone are my days of unrealistic expectations of friends who are perfect. Perfect people as well as perfect relationships simply do not exist…..at least not in my world or anyone’s world I know……I feel best off to accept people at the level they are at…give them a position in my life based on where I feel they belong and to the degree they belong….and then simply go on my Merry way…….