I have always been a fat girl. Even when I weighed 105lbs, I still mentally categorized myself as a fat girl. For me, being a fat girl is all mental and not dependent on my physical condition. I’m constantly a fat girl (no matter my weight) because I believe that my worth as a human being is directly correlated with my weight. For years I’ve struggled with the belief that when I’m overweight I’m a worthless person undeserving of love, kindness, and respect.
Our society is not kind to people who are overweight. It’s considered one of the last acceptable prejudices. People rally against obese people for taking up too much space, raising health costs, and destroying America’s health (Now I personally believe that there is an obesity problem that needs to be solved but my thoughts regarding the “obesity epidemic” and how it should be handled are perfect for another blog post). Overweight individuals especially women often feel that she has to compensate for the fact that she is fat. Since I’m not thin I need to wear the perfect outfit, have my hair done, full face of makeup, a bright smile, and a super nice attitude because no one likes the bitchy fat girl. As a fat girl I already have a huge con against me, so I have to work harder to compensate for my fattness.
Unfortunately societal standards have driven many women (and men) into eating disorders, depression, body image issues, including the fat girl syndrome. Fat girl syndrome doesn’t discriminate against race, socioeconomic class, or even weight. Fat girl syndrome affects anyone who believes that her weight determines her worth as a human being.
Well I’m tired of being the fat girl (mentally and physically). I’m tired of feeling that I have to apologize for taking up too much space. I’m tired of thinking that my life is pretty good except that I’m fat. I’m tired of being embarassed because after years of starving my body, I gained massive amounts of weight. I’m tired of feeling that I’m failure because I’m physically larger than other women my age. I’m embracing who I am regardless of my weight. Who I am as a person is what determines my worth as a human. I’m not Ghandi but I’m not Timothy McVeigh. I’m a twenty five year old professional woman trying to find happiness and balance in life. I’m Sarah Elizabeth Schwoppe and I’m a former fat girl.
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