Christmas 2012

5 years ago

It felt like Christmas when I bought Ella's Christmas presents.  I hid them carefully in a place she never goes, although the neighbor kid obviously does and told her where they were.  I was bummed on Christmas eve for this but on Christmas Day she didn't even know about the bike, I seperated the gifts to see if she would notice.  I parked the new shiny light blue bike with pink argyle pattterns and white tires outside, all wrapped and waiting for Ella to notice.  She even took a shower after opening her other gifts and had not noticed yet.  So I say after she is all ready for the day, Ella could you go outside and get me the cat food on the couch please.  She runs outside and stops and I wish I could have gotten this on film because she was so excited.  We go to ride it right there and then, with the helmet and no training wheels this time.  I have to hold the back alternating holding the front.  Grateful that she is happy.  Her squeals of elation were all I needed to fill my Christmas with love.  I have not been well as of Oct...suffering with an inner gulteal problem...pushed too much in too many areas of my life maybe.  It still is a mystery to me why the vein is inflamed long after childbirth...but it is and I have contacted a surgeon who can remove it.  Feel like I'm living a half life because of the pain sometimes...crazy because I still take care of Ella, work and pay my bills, do all that is done to hold a household up including gathering ingredients and cooking, yes cooking although Christmas dinner wasn't as big this year, cleaning, the cats, Ella's schoolwork, the garden/yard, the list goes on and on.  Still I am grateful that I can do these things in my life....and I want to get better so that I can do more.  Onto the New Year 2013 Year of the Snake...Happens to be my sign :)

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