Aye Poopy!

4 years ago

Aye Poopy!

 
Well my life thus far has been a life of, "Ok, now what." 

I went into the ER on 9/29 with horrible abdominal pains on my left side.  Come to think of it, my stomach had been hurting for some time but I kept ignoring it.  I finally had to go see what all the fuss was about.

Believe or not, I don't care about being in the ER.  In fact I was hoping they would admit me so I can have my favorite food in the world - HOSPITAL FOOD!  

I LOVE HOSPITAL FOOD.

Most people dread going to hospitals let alone staying there but oh the joy of it all to get well balanced, perfectly proportioned food, 3 times a day - it's like Weight Watchers or Nutrisystem for free!!

But I digress.  This is serious.  I am about to turn thirty freaking three years old and was diagnosed with Diverticulitis - a disease mostly occurring in people over the age of 50.

When I first heard this, I laughed.  Not for cynicism or that uncomfortable, nervous laugh but because it seems like my Granny is passing down all of her ailments. 

Don't believe me?

At the age of 19, I started losing my hair - out of the blue.  Who else has suffered hair loss for some time - Granny.

At age 29 I developed Asthma after moving to Grand Prairie, TX.  Who else has had Asthma for YEARS - G-R-A-N-N-Y.

Now at the lovely young age of 32, my intestines have to go on an AARP sponsored diet thanks to Diverticulitis and WHOM would you ask was diagnosed with the same thing - you guessed it.

My Grandmother.

But that is fine - I love my granny and I am firm believer that sickness can only affect you as far as you let it.  

This Pic Was Better than a Pile of Crap pic

So what is or what causes Diverticulitis you may ask?  From what I have read, not enough fiber and too much pressure in your color produces pouches in your large intestines, called Diverticula.  Those pouches get inflamed and infected.  

In lay-mans terms - I'm full of shit.  And it' starting to stink.

I said it.  There.  

Now don't get me wrong and forgive me Lord for using that term - that isn't how I speak but........you get my point.

I try NOT to eat processed foods, fast foods, nothing that has a shelf life.  Looking back, my mind is saying don't eat that but my mouth and belly are saying, mmmm, mmmm good!

So, something has got to change.  Like for real this time.  When I announced this thing to my family and friends on Facebook - God that sounds...... apocalyptic......anyway, I was really surprised at how many people said they had it as well, which made me stop and think.

Why are all these people getting this disease?  What is going on around here?  Have vegetarians had it right all along?  Are the Vegan police engaged in war on us meat eaters?  Do I not fast enough?

The questions are endless but my life is not.  So the first thing I have to do? Finish these godawful antibiotic regimen of Flagyl and Cipro - shudder.

Second, do some reading on the right type of diet and preventative measures.

Third, complete steps 1 and 2 so I can move on with my life in the right direction.  

I have so many poop jokes now.

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