It seemed to me that motherhood was a right of passage to all the unspoken secrets other mother's failed to share prior to our "Bug" being born. You see, nothing compares to the firsthand experience of learning the ropes of motherhood. Every baby is different; every parent is different; every circumstance is different. If only if were as easy as cracking a book open and following each step-by-step instruction on the "how to's" of motherrhood. Motherhood is great but...yes, there's a but, it comes with many surprises along the way. Here are 10 "secrets" no one ever told me. 1. Baby induced water breakage Always have an extra towel in the car in the event your baby decides that it's time to enter the world. Amongst all the chaos of getting your hospital bag, figuring out what to wear (yeah, major dilemma for me at the time) and husband frantically racing around looking frazzled and confused, a towel for the ride is a must. Each bump you go over, whoosh. Each turn you take, whoosh some more. Each stop and go (yup, we hit every red light) you must obey, whoosh and whoosh again. 2. Momma hospital clothesMy clothing dilemma worked well in my head, dark workout bottoms with a maternity top and those "I'm a mommy-to-be" undies. However, why didn't anyone tell me that the diaper the hospital asks you to put in spans from your belly button all the way to the top of your lower back and seem just as wide. Hubby needed to hold the back as I tended to the front while pulling up my tight and thankfully stretchy workout gear over the diaper. It's official, he loves me. As we paced the halls (as per the nurses request) the squishing noise coming from between my legs just got louder and louder with each step. Each step also furthered accentuated the bunched up ruffled looking diaper under my bottom gear.
Whether it's a c-section or natural birth don't expect to go number #2 after the birth. Pressure in the form of pushing to relieve yourself is just outta of the question. Stool softeners are your friend. Be sure you are fully equipped with these pills before you feel labor-like pains from the wrong end.
Your cute, adorable, precious bundle of joy has finally made their debut into this world. Days are on constant repeat mode; diapers, feeding, burping, crying, laundry and repeat. Shower if your lucky. Sleep if your blessed with an angle baby. One thing is for sure, don't expect a smile out of your "bundle" until they are at least 8 weeks old. Eye contact is all you'll get up to this point. Take it and run with it. It won't be long until your "boring" baby will become super active and give you all the smiles and interaction you want.
Momma's do mention that breastfeeding is uncomfortable...yeah whatever. Uncomfortable describes the feeling when your shoelaces are too tight. Breastfeeding is painful at first. All of a sudden you have a suction cup continuously and frequently attached to your nipples. They get tender and yes sore. Think of tiny little paper cuts on the tip of your index finger then place the finger in a cup of alcohol. That's how I would describe how your nipples feel after baby sucks on them day in and day out. Breastfeeding has many benefits to it so please know that this "pain" only last a few seconds once baby latches and disappears after those seconds have passed. Brace yourself and continue with your breastfeeding option.
Your baby cries, your breast milk drops. Any baby cries and your breast milk drops also. Pretty much, if anything is crying around you, you will leak breast milk. Mother's instinct. Don't leave home without your breast pads and a couple extra in your purse at all times. You never know when you may end up in an elevator full of mom's going on a mommy and tot outing.
If you chose to breastfeed then showering is going to be a whole new experience for you. Showering relieves the pressure in your breasts by releasing some milk. However, this release continues to expel after you finish your shower and begin the process of drying yourself off. Remember the days you would bend over to dry your legs. Well, now when you bend over you will leak out of your breasts like a "milking cow" (not calling anyone a cow, just an analogy). Have your bra and pads ready to be put on immediately after you dry your chest otherwise you will have a new trick and some extra wet floors.
8. When your arms just aren't long enough.previously written. The day will come where you will go to the bathroom and your arm will be too short to reach back and wipe. This is one of those unspoken secrets that previously pregnant women don't tell you. They just sit back and watch you go to the bathroom without ever speaking of the moment when your arm just isn't long enough. It's a sick joke I tell ya. You will find yourself in the most cramped bathroom stall leaning to the right and then left as you try to get the best angle and shortest reach for your arm. Be quick and analyze all angles and once you have the ideal route, go in and do your thing. 9.Your hot and your cold Body temperature is totally and completely out of whack. Hormones are still racing through your body and shall continue to do so for a while after you have given birth. So when you are feeling a "hot flash" come over you, just know that this is temporary, it too will pass.
The only room where momma's can find some peace. Stack up on your favorite reads and sit back for and extra minute or two longer in "Momma's Cave." Is there anything I'm missing? I would love to hear some more unspoken secrets you have learned along the way.
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