So here's the thing about me: You will get the good with the bad, no matter what. I didn't create this blog to complain or rejoice overly. Just keep in mind I am a recovering Negative Thoughts Person.
Hi, my name is Heather and I am a recovering Negative Thoughts Person. (Hi Heather)
I got to go to church (work) today for the first time in 10 days. Everyone asked me how my vacay was. I answered honestly: I am relaxed. It was true. I went to go see the Nutcracker in Salt Lake City with the sister-in-law, played video games with the bro, slept in whenever I wanted to, cooked, ate, went to the movies, got back into normalcy again. Had some good days, had some bad days.
Today was no different, but it was a half and half kind of a day. I went to work knowing this was going to be a different day. That is a good thing. I sat with my kids in my Sunday School class and we made bird feeders because it is a New Year. We made bird feeders because God makes everything new. He makes everything new by sending His Son Jesus Christ to be born on what we celebrate as Christmas. If God makes all things new including us, we should take care of His creation. Good thing.
But I sat painfully aware I was by myself after all the kids left for Junior Church. The guy I dated was no longer there and we haven't talked for a bit of time. I was hopeful he would be there. No such luck for me or him because God used the day to speak to me in a good way too. I went to lunch with a couple who have become good friends. Good thing. We laughed and talked about life in general.
These are great things right? Of course. I have to keep reminding myself that. Good things, good things, good things. But I had a conversation with my best friend today and she regaled me of her Anniversary date night. I cried quietly and admitted to her a few minutes later that I now cry everytime I think of not being married or having kids. Gee whiz.
What the crap is happening to me as I get older and this crying thing???
This is the part where even though good things are going on around me, I feel unfulfilled. Lord, please fill those empty places where I yearn to be a part of another. Amen. Then I cut my boule bread that I left in the oven to cool before I went to work! Super yummo! A little tough at first, but so good with a bit of homemade strawberry jam.
The wheat bulgar was a good touch. I think next time around I will add 1/4 cup oats as well to add a bit more fiber. I can't wait to have a piece of bread tomorrow morning and a cup of coffee before I head off to the airport to fly to Seattle for a very brief trip, then back on Wednesday in the afternoon to finish out the day at work. More from the road tomorrow...
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