Before You Hit Publish Comment: Ask ThySELF

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

Uh, oh.   

Someone famous opened their mouth, dared express a contrary public opinion:  Can.Open.Worms.Everywhere.    And many are outraged.  Also, surprised?  

People, may I ask:   Why So Offended?

Why does it threaten you that a Christian prayer might be uttered in your school?     Or, that the two homosexuals who live next door *gasp* actually Got Married!?   Or that the single woman adopted an African American child....and Oh Dear Lawd!  She gave it a Disney Princess to play with!?    And not the ethnic one!!  

See, I'm an equal opportunity pot stirrer.   You may not agree, and in fact prefer those waters to Just Calm The Frack Down so that your little boat might sail true and not careen off course.    If you could just tame those damn winds and hold back that tide!   Then you'd get somewhere.

You could boycott.   No!   Sue somebody!  Take it all the way Supreme.     Might is Right,   Squeaky Wheel and Golden Rule, or Two Rights and a Fat Payout Make it Sound Good, but I  Still Can't Dance To It....or something like that.

I am not so sure anymore - can we  legalize morality?    Wonder what Mr Free Will thinks about that.   I suspect that reckless rake still won't be caged. 

 Might I also ask:  How exactly are we to become a Peaceful world with all this finger-shaking, lawsuit making,  battlelines staking going on?      Is that really the best approach towards settling our matters of spiritual, religious and moral differences?

"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist"

- Indira Gandhi

See to me, when you are so easily offended, you also reveal your weakness, and it is this:  you are "small."   What I mean by that is that you are basically serving  The Self (i.e. ego); and the self above all, desires to protect.   This is the fragile part of ourselves that needs to feel important, validated, admired, worthy and naturally, successful.    And to that, the self constantly compares, defines,  and evaluates itself against:  high ideals?  Internal Moral fortitude?  Buzz - Wrong!    Others.     

Mostly, self needs to win.   Always.

Well the victor cannot win without a..........anyone?  anyone?   Anyone?

Enemy to defeat.

 Good news though, thanks to that Free Will thing, there a lot of potential Bad Guys for you to choose from.   Yeah!   Basically, anyone who opens their mouths, or acts in opposition to you.    More good news though!    Thanks to Free Speech you are welcome to live your life constantly going around pointing out how everyone else is wrong  (and you are right), correcting others mistakes, and even openly ridiculing them.   Some even make it a sport!  

And sport sells BIG.      Almost as big as self appointed celebs putting their foots in their mouths.  Or you know, quoting from a book they devoutly believe in.    The Nerve.   Demonstrating some moral fibre and backbone.    For shame.    What IS this world coming to?   (and by that I mean, having the courage to stand by your morals -- not that I necessarily agree with your morals.  I respect your stance in the face of adversity.  To me, that is strength.)

Anyway, I am sure this is a grand way to live.    Imagine daily feeling put off, put out and put aside by a world that just won't be controlled any better than those pesky winds of change.    No matter how hard you push, or pull, it just won't conform to your desired mold.   No wonder you feel so offended, angry and miserable so much of the time.    Who can blame you for such immature responses to obvious stupidity and bigotry when it stares you in the Face(book).
 Of course that ignorant douchenozzle expected a lashing comment from you!!   Why else would he have posted such an invitation to bicker to intelligent discourse?!   Clearly he was not only asking for a comeupannce, but you ARE the one to deliver it! 

Thy Ego - -is it invested overmuch?

Of course I realize that some fights must be fought, some walls must be torn down, and some people just Leak Stupid.      I simply ask that before you hit "publish" on that comment, you ask yourself:   What, or Whom, am I serving in this reply?

I rather suspect if your  less fragile Self (let's call it The True You) was in control of the keyboard, you'd be able to Tune Out, Power Down and walk away.   Because the things you know in your knower; well, they don't rely on another.    You don't have to present a force gale strong front: because you are strong.   What does that mean?

It means you allow others their Free Will.    You allow them their mistakes.    You do not see them as your problem to solve.    To do this, you might have to extend some Grace.   A little bit of Forgivness (as you also would like to be Forgiven).    And a whole lot of Compassion.    You might have to express Love, when someone is spouting a diatribe laced with all that which you hate and have spent a lifetime defending.

I think then you could also answer the Question I first asked:   Why are You So Offended.

I suspect you might find it has a lot more to do with YOU, then with that which has so easily caused offense.    Is it not better to learn more about you, thus  gaining insight regarding that true self --- rather than trying to change that very same part of a virtual stranger?      Honestly.   Why feed the bears if you don't wish them to return?   Simple law of nature people.

I think we might all feel a bit more joy in life if we could do that.

I'd shake hands on it.