The other week, when John McCain got all dismissive about women's health during the presidential debate and kept waving his fingers around making sarcastic air quotes - or, as Jon Stewart correctly referred to them last night on The Daily Show, "dick fingers" - I thought that my head was going blow off. "Women" use "health" as an excuse to get abortions? This is something that the "extreme pro-abortion movement" uses as a ploy to promote abortion? "HEALTH"?
If only there were some way to brandish one's middle finger and flick air quotes around it.
I couldn't write about it. I couldn't even respond to Twitter discussions or Facebook comments or e-mails asking what I thought. I was too angry. Seriously. WAY too angry. Angry as in, incapable of making coherent and non-expletive-based comment.
When I calmed down, I followed a few links to posts by women who were brave enough to write about why they were angry. Cecily wrote this post (and reminded me that McCain's comments were made on - get this - National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Eff you, McCain.) Dooce linked to this post from Alexa at Flotsam and this post from Julie at a little pregnant.
I read those posts, and I cried and I raged, and then I went back to bed and stuck my head under the blankets. Which is where I stayed (as it happened, I came down with flu while sticking my head in the figurative sand) until, finally, somebody issued a rejoinder to McCain that allowed me to thump my raging, flu-addled chest and laugh, evilly, through my tears:
Samantha Bee, everybody: ROUND OF APPLAUSE.
"Thank you, John McCain, for finally exposing the seedy underbelly of the "women's health" scam... Let's face it: women loooove abortions, and will do anything to get one - the later the better. "Hemorrhages" "sever uterine infections" "dying" blah blah blah blah... People can disagree about abortion, but still agree about the unimportance of women's health."
Thank you, Samantha Bee, for that awesome bitch-slap. I'm still head-burstingly angry about McCain's words, but at least now I'm also laughing.
Her Bad Mother is pro-choice and an enthusiastic proponent of all forms of birth control, especially on those days when poo has been flung at her head.
More from entertainment