Why Ryan Gosling should break up with Eva Mendes

4 years ago

Why Ryan Gosling should break up with Eva Mendes


Yeah, like I need to give reasons for why Ryan should dump Eva.  It’s a no-brainer.  But don’t worry, I’ll spell out the reasons for you.

Maybe Ry-Ry will read this blog post and come to his senses and realize Eva isn’t the one for him.  I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s an avid reader of my blog.  Granted, he’s never reached out to me, but that’s just because he’s intimidated.  He’s also never filed a restraining order against me, which clearly means Ry-Ry hasn’t given up hope on us.

<Sigh>

So here’s the list.  There are many more reasons, but I kept it limited as I know you guys have a short attention span, as do I.

Oooh look…there’s a Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg…..

FOCUS! 

1. Patriotism  

I’m not saying she’s a communist, but there’s no proof she isn’t.   Remember the red scare? Don’t put our nation in danger. Ry-Ry.

Don’t you love America?  I know you do, even though you’re Canadian.  Don’t all Canadians love America?  Of course they do.  So break up with her for America.

Do you want to make this girl cry?  Don’t make this girl cry, Ryan.  She loves red, white and blue.  She’s also deaf…and dying of cancer…and she has one arm.

Girl Pledging Allegiance to the Flag

<cut to shot of flag blowing in the breeze and “America the Beautiful” playing in the background>

Wanna read the rest of this post?  Of course you do!  Go here:  http://lisanewlin.com/2013/04/why-ryan-gosling-should-break-up-with-eva-mendes/

Lisa Newlin Embarrassing myself so you don't have to. You're welcome. http://lisanewlin.com

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