Why Frozen Is NOT the Best Disney Movie Ever

4 years ago
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I'm gonna catch a lot of slack for this post, but it has to be said. Frozen is NOT the best Disney movie ever.

It's a really good movie, don't get me wrong. I enjoyed it. I'd watch it again. I love the strong female characters and I especially love how it's gotten people excited over Disney movies again.

But when you say best ever, you're setting the bar pretty high. I went in there thinking to myself, "pshhhh, you think you've seen an animated movie before?? You ain't seen nothing yet. Frozen is about to blow your mind!!" And did it? No. Here's why.

First, let's talk about the music. I know I know, but, "Let it go, let it go-oooooooooh!" And that is a great argument. The song is catchy, ironically enough people really won't let it go. But anything you put Idina Menzel's voice to is going to be amazing. Plus, let's be honest. It's that one song. When you think of Frozen, that's pretty much all you think of, besides maybe Love is an Open Door.

Let's compare shall we?

The Lion King: Hakuna matata! Oh cannnn you feel the love tonight? Oh I just can't wait to be king!

All three songs of those songs just popped into my head. At once. I know all the lyrics. And those are just the first three that came to mind.

Let's do another one.

Beauty and the Beast: Be our guest, be our guest! No.... one's.... slick as Gaston, no one's quick as Gaston, no one's neck is incredibly thick as Gaston! There may be something there that wasn't there before... Tale as old time, true as it can be, barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly!

Sorry, Beauty and the Beast is my favorite, went on a mental tangent for a moment. I think the point was made though.

How about one more?

Aladdin: Arabian ni-ights, like Arabian da-ays! You ain't never had a friend like me! A whole new world!

You see what I'm saying? I was expecting an entire movie filled with musical enchantment--I got one kick-ass song.

That brings me to my next point. Where's my villain?? I love Disney princesses, and Frozen had two for the price of one. But as much as I love princesses I love villains, and Hans is the bad-guy equivalent of an anonymous Disney prince, like the Prince from Sleeping Beauty. Who is that you ask? My point exactly.

I have no real villain to both love and hate in this movie, just your everyday douchebag. Whomp whomp.

Whatever happened to Cruela de Vil? Ursula? Jafar? Scar? Maleficent?? (which after the movie this summer I'm sure we will ALL know who the prince in Sleeping Beauty is!) Hans doesn't hold a candle to these real Disney villains. If you went into the Disney Villains store at MGM Studios, you wouldn't be like, oooh let's buys a Hans mug! Come on now.

And sorry I'm not sorry--the same has to be said for the sidekick. I mean, Olaf was super cute. But was he amongst the ranks of Iago? Timon and Pumba? Mushu?? I just don't know. I mean, I might buy an Olaf mug, I can't deny that. So let's just call this one a draw.

That brings me to my final point. I feel like this movie was too complicated for being a kid movie. I read comments on it and people were like, "oh, I think the real villain was Elsa's struggle with her condition" or "it's a great message that her true love was her sister." Maybe kids today are just super deep in thought, but I prefer not to have to work so hard for my storytelling. Give me a clear villain to love/hate, a great soundtrack to geek out to, and a simple romance with Prince Charming and I am all set!

But that's just me. I was raised with the Disney classics, so if you're gonna tell me a movie is even better than those, you better come prepared! And Frozen, meh.