VIDEO: New 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Trailer Teases with Masterful Foreplay

3 years ago

I admit to being baffled at the undeniable popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise. But millions of fans get it, or want to get it on with Christian and/or Anastasia. Author E.L. James' trilogy of books are New York Times bestsellers to the tune of over 100 million copies sold, which is incredibly impressive for any book, let alone what is essentially erotic fan fiction.

And now, the trailer is released for the long-awaited movie. How porntastic will it go? Even many of the detractors of the much-maligned prose want to see how this type of passage from Fifty Shades will be brought to life by stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan: 

He runs the tips of his finger down my cheek. Oh my. His proximity, his delicious Christian smell. We're supposed to be talking but my heart is pounding, my blood singing as it courses through my body, desire pooling, unfurling... everywhere. Christian bends and runs his nose along my shoulder and up the base of my ear, his fingers slipping into my hair.

The movie can't give us that "delicious Christian smell" or even unfurling, singing blood (wtf?) but it tries aggressively to tease with characteristic attention to detail and the slow, simmering burn of building erotic tension.  Released on the Today show, the trailer doesn't disappoint but it does tease more than anything. Beyonce purrs and warns in the background, though her own videos provide more satisfying titillation. Can fans hold the froth to a manageable level until the movies premiere in February? I guess with Christian (and producers banking to make stacks of bills as tightly wound as one of Christian's submissives) in charge, there is no other option.  Are you in? Oh, why do I even ask? I know you are. We are already halfway there.

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