This Is Soccer, Not a Culinary Class

5 years ago

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My daughter is 10 years old and just started the spring soccer season. Today I received an email from the coach with the snack schedule. Evidently the girls will be getting a half-time snack as well as an end of game snack and drink. Is this ridiculously excessive? Can't a bunch of 10-year old's bring a water bottle and play for an hour without sugary drinks and 2 courses of snacks?

I don't want to offend the coach, because bless him for volunteering, but I also think this is totally stupid. My daughter has played many seasons before and my older son has also played for years, and this is the first time we've been asked to bring so much food for the kids.

Do I shut up and go along with this or do I say something?

Sally, the Anti-Snacker


Soccer lineup

Dear Sally, the Anti-Snacker,

I'm troubled. Do you think two snacks will really be enough for an hour of exercise? Maybe every time someone makes a goal, you all could celebrate with a round of Cheese Nips. Or each time a player heads the ball, everyone gets a rack of baby back ribs. But make sure you bring extra BBQ sauce! (You'll probably need a sign up sheet for that too.)

Okay, when did we turn into snack nation?! Do you remember when you were a kid and you told your mom you were hungry? She'd say, "Perfect timing! Dinner is in two hours."

I think it's great kids are out playing soccer, getting exercise and having fun. Let's please not ruin it by loading them up with a bunch of salty, sugary snacks and drinks. Write the coach a very nice email. Express your appreciation for his commitment to the team. And then write something like... "You are one crazy mofo if you think we are giving these kids two snacks and a drink during a 60 minute game!! What the hell is wrong with you man?!"

Wait, maybe something a little more delicate like, "I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds but it's been my experience as a parent of two soccer kids, that we may not need so many snacks. Perhaps we can just encourage everyone to bring their own water and each week one parent will be in charge of a healthy after game snack."

Of course, you could try to say nothing. But I'm guessing that will take a lot of duct tape. Better to just speak up.

Good luck,

Kelcey, TMH


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