The Sexy

6 years ago
Young American girls know what's sexy.
It's the Abercrombie & Fitch pants they wear and the Dolce & Gabbana purses they carry. 
It's also their Herbal Essences shampoo, MAC foundation and Victoria Secret-enhanced breasts. Throw in a t-shirt that fits too tight, a few piercings, a tattoo, a touch of devious behavior and the stage is set for action.
It's been three generations since the women's rebellion started, when brave and enlightened women took control of their reproductive organs and began calling the sexual shots.
They abandoned the churches that placed sexy in a sinful light. They railed against a life of mind-numbing housechores and a sexless marriage.
The rebellion continues openly and without an end.
Or a purpose. 
Our girls are going wild.
A doctor's photos of STD's and the practical matters of raising a child are forgotten when an American girl is gazing into the eyes of an American boy. Afterall, he is oozing modern-day young man hotness: mediocre, unemployed, over-weight, drunk. Totally irresistible.
She understands that sexy is in her nature and wants to be sure that a guy notices it, too.
Any guy.
Her overt desire for sexual acceptance may be just a flaw in god's design, as taught in bible study.
Most Christian girls learn the story of Adam & Eve at a young and impressionable age. Eve's sexy bite of the forbidden apple was a big problem in The Garden of Eden so god banished them from his garden and dished out a punishment for her: childbirth.
Is it any wonder why young girls are confused about their sexy? Where it comes from? Why it's necessary? It's power? It's curse?
Today many girls demonstrate their understanding of sexuality by engaging in a series of meaningless, random encounters "enhanced" by edgy fashion, gender experimentation and awkward desperation.  
Moms -- the bonafide experts in the ultimate consequences of sex --  have done little to counteract the negative messaging. Where is a young woman to find support  for a healthier, mature attitude toward sex and all of it's realistic possible outcomes, including the positive ones?
America's corporate marketing wizards are highly attuned to a young woman's sexual nature. From gum to cars, from cell phones to furniture, they prove time and again that girls can be made to feel sexy about anything.
So I wonder if young women can be made to feel sexy about becoming Mothers.
Let's envision for a moment a marketing campaign that begins with a young hunk in all of his Axe Body Spray sexiness and ends with a sensible, sober young woman who says, "Damn, you smell sexy. But I don't know if you have a credit score above 500 or could support my love of interpretive dance or if your IQ is higher than a gerbil's. I need to know that before I feel sexy enough to sleep with you and decide to bare your children".
It's that simple. It is not normal for most girls to be fulfilled by random sexual acts because it's naturally connected to the bigger experience of motherhood.
I believe girls want to feel the value of their physical, intellectual and emotional presence enhanced by the sexual. It's Moms -- not religions, corporations or self-serving boyfriends -- that need to lead the way.
Imagine the empowerment of young women influenced by powerful Moms who value a deeper part of  sexiness. Moms know best that the continuity and quality of all human life is ultimately within the control of women based on their sexual decisions.  

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at


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