So after many a night hugging and kissing a pillow named Robert, I hatched a plan. It was a good one: I was going to wait till he was 70, and no longer the it-boy of Hollywood, and I was 40, and fabulously grownup, and I was going to seduce him. He wouldn't stand a chance!
The wonderful news that he got divorced from his long-time wife only made that plan seem easier.
More years passed.
And then I saw The Horse Whisperer, in a movie theater... Old age can be so cruel. And the camera crueler. The man looked like a freaking turtle, I shit you not!
And it's been getting worse, since. I mean, the man is a cinematic genius (remember Ordinary People?) and I respect his work and his vision, but his face, com'on! Some things just aren't meant to be projected that big.
If you think that stopped me though, you would be completely mistaken. Instead of getting all (understandably) turned off and giving up on my crush, I chose... denial.
So I froze him in time. Hubbell. My Hubbell. (Just you try and stop me!)
Of course, first, we promptly rechristen him with a normal name (Hubbell? HUBBELL?? WTF kind of a name is that!!)
Some have compared Brad Pitt to a young Robert Redford. But to me, it's like comparing apples and orchids. I can see some vague similarities, but Pitt ain't no Sundance Kid! There can only be one Robert Redford and his sexy is timeless.... at least in photographs. Thank God for those.
So who is your one and only? Who is your sexiest man (or woman), dead or alive?
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