Heaven help me: Snooki’s winning.
That crazy-like-a-fox hoochie on MTV’s The Jersey Shore—in an ironic and super unfair twist of fate—has what I want. No, not a ridiculous and embarrassing TV show, but lots of other things.
I feel like I’ve done all of the things a responsible adult should do (well, many of them, anyway): I graduated from college (twice), manage to keep a job, take good care of myself physically and financially, and don’t really bother anybody. Snooki gets drunk every day, pees outside, fights, and gets arrested for disorderly conduct. What’s more, I know all of this without having ever watched a single episode of the show. She’s so famous that her escapades are news and part of popular culture. She’s everywhere. Barbara Walters even chose her and her castmates for her list of 2010 Most Fascinating People.
I don’t care about the famous part. Here’s what’s making me just a little crazy. Snooki “wrote” a book and it made the New York Times Best Seller List! This, from a woman who claims never to have read a book. And this makes me crazy because I, too, have written a book. A book that, I’m told by many people, is insightful and funny and unique. Some of these people are in the publishing business; they “love the concept” but just don’t quite know what to do with it (how about publish it, for goodness sake?!) Snooki’s book? They know what to do with that. And that’s the problem. Noise has become more important than content.
And here’s the other reason I’m jealous of Snooki. Her outrageouness earned her a million dollars last year. I’ve been working since I was 15 and I earn a good living, but I’m tired. I’m ready to sleep in and work a few less hours. Actually a lot less hours. Part-time is what I’m aiming for. However, I can’t afford to live on half my salary. But if I, like Snooki, earned $1 million last year, I could afford to live on my part-time salary. But I didn’t earn close to that. I never used to care about what other people earned, but dear Snooki’s seven-figure salary is starting to bother me. I don’t want to get drunk every day (or pee outside) like Snooki. I just want to do less, like Snooki, and still get paid.
The world is upside down. Being loud and obnoxious and stupid is paying a lot more now than it used to. And don’t even get me started on those dim-witted Real Housewives series. I would have thought grown women would know better. Apparently not. And it hasn’t hurt them.
Eleanore W - Visit me at www.TheSpinsterliciousLife.com
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