Nuggets of Truth in Samantha Brick’s ‘Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful' Piece

5 years ago

Many have gotten their knickers in a bunch over journalist Samantha Brick’s piece about the downsides of being a pretty girl.  Namely, she says other women are mean to her because they’re jealous.

Naturally, this has sparked a firestorm of criticism, mostly aimed at if she’s hot or not. Some of the comments are down right ugly. But she touches on something that I’ve seen happen.

Sure there’s plenty of upsides to being pretty. It can make it easier to get past the velvet ropes life offers, but like everything there can be challenges. For example, some attractive women have a hard time being taken seriously by male co-workers unless they present the (and I hate to use the term) bitchy exterior.

I certainly don’t have the problem that Brick says she has due to her looks. I’m just your average brown-skinned girl, but I have a friend who is drop dead gorgeous. Stunning. Well, I’ve got a lot of them, but this one is particularly striking and she too has had problems with women.

I remember the first time she told me: “I have no girl friends.” I was surprised because she’s shoot-the-milk-out-your-nose funny, fiercely loyal and honest. But I gave her a good once over, her perfectly petite, yet curvy frame, glowing olive skin, thick healthy mane, piercingly green eyes, yaddayaddayadda you get the idea. I responded: I bet so.

This speaks to the point I think Brick was trying to make in her essay, one that was lost in its arrogant tone. We all know about Mean Girls and each of us has some mean in us, and for some that can really come out when a beautiful woman is involved.

Admit it, we’ve all done and/or thought it. Our friend with the perfect body, we say: “Ugh I hate her.” The same goes for the girl with the amazingly awesome hair, or the chic with age-appropriate but trendy clothes and the mom who’s the total package and always put together.  Our comments are said playfully, but there is a spark of jealousy.

It’s too bad really, we all need to do a better job of being supportive. Present company included. I remember not too long ago though, Hubby and I were sitting at a bar after my Listen To Your Mother audition. There was a woman with wild tresses and a gorgeous face to match.

Hubby and I had trouble not staring at her, finally, after a few glasses of wine, I decided to pay the stranger a compliment. Walking up to her, I got nervous. I’d never done this before, not even to a guy that I liked. I took a deep breath:

“Excuse me, I just wanted to say, platonically speaking, you are so gorgeous.”

She quickly flashed me her million dollar smile. “Thanks, that means a lot.”

“Sure!” OK, I thought. I’ve said it, now how to exit gracefully…

“No really, thanks because I’ve been having a tough time at things, so that really brightens my week. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I smiled back, wished her a good evening and returned to my husband.

It felt good to be nice to a pretty lady, it was much better than being a mean girl.

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