Lyrics: 3 Doors Down – When I’m Gone
"There's another world inside of me that you may never see. There're secrets in this life that I can't hide. Somewhere in this darkness there's a light that I can't find. Maybe it's too far away or maybe I'm just blind. Or maybe I'm just blind.”
July was the turning point. August we formulated a plan. September we laid the foundation. One thing always leads to another. It’s time to purge, purify and refine as Saturn moves into Scorpio for the next 2.5 years, through the end of 2014. Saturn always offers a lesson or a reward. The Universe always delivers exactly what we need for the next stage of our personal, local and global evolution. Now, the big question is “how do I know this is the experience I need?” Because it’s the experience “I am” experiencing!
Saturn has enjoyed an extended stay in Libra, the sign of relationships, since October 2009. Saturn is the Teacher and when he transits a sign he always reveals “what I don’t know or didn’t understand thus the experiences to GAIN the awareness.” With a transit of Saturn we always mature and grow up and everyone has Libra in their chart, so depending on where it is located determined which “relationships” were being brought to maturity through respectful relating to another and keeping the promises I pledged.
On October 5thMercury (communication) and Saturn (Teacher) will merge at the 29th degree of wisdom and redemption in Libra before BOTH cross into Scorpio within a couple of hours of one another. With Jupiter going retrograde this week at 16 Gemini, there is a great deal of energy (Mercury rules Gemini) being put forth as we are seeking some type of understanding, knowing or learning, but what is it? It isn’t something you’re going to find outside, but rather found searching the “inner landscape” of Self. The North Node (Soul direction) is also conjunct Mars (taking action) at 26 Scorpio. Over the past 6 weeks Mars has given each of us a “preview of coming attractions” for the next 2.5 years and what we can expect Saturn’s lesson to be. It’s time for a course correction or an adjustment of some kind.
“So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong. Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone. Everything I am and everything in me wants to be the one you wanted me to be.”
If you’re not already feeling this heavier vibration you will by Friday, the 5th. Saturn enters Scorpio, the sign ruled by both Mars (the Warrior) and Pluto (the Dark Lord of the Underworld) who will fight to the death to get to the core fears represented by the House that Scorpio rules in each individual life. This is good! Once we get to the core fear, we can change it, usually simply by acknowledging it, which in turn changes our behavior or pattern of self-destruction aka the “demons.” In Scorpio it’s facing the demons within. There’s good news and there’s an opportunity for growth here.
Pluto rules Scorpio, Saturn rules Capricorn, Pluto is in Capricorn and with Saturn moving into Scorpio we have what astrologer’s call Mutual Reception. Saturn is authority and Pluto is power. Personally, locally and globally our fears will be brought to light so we can deal, there is no more denial. The last time this event occurred was 1776 – 1778 during the American Revolution. Pay attention because high-minded public servants that get elected next month had better be prepared to deliver the goods or there is going to be hell to pay! Personally be prepared to walk your talk! Yes, life will be slow to change, but change it will! Remember, we all have FREE WILL!
Demons are shape-shifters (Scorpio) and are something each of us deals with during our journey on Spaceship Earth. They can change shape one moment to the next and some of my personal favorites are fear of rejection, worthlessness, false pride, anxiety, failure, pain, jealousy, anger, depression, and giving up on oneself. Do any of your demons know my demons? They’re crafty little bastards, so we have to pay attention, because otherwise we may not even realize they’ve been knocking on the door to get “my” attention. Not to worry, because this is what Saturn is an expert at, “making me aware.”
When it’s time to deal Saturn’s vibration usually makes us believe that something is being taken away from us whether it’s control of something or someone (mothers of teens is a favorite target for this one), there’s betrayal, powerlessness and of course one everyone’s favorite demon, abandonment. These guys get around! A good exercise if this happens is to sit down with pen and paper and start writing your next novel; The Idiot’s Guide to Being Overwhelmed in 3 Easy Steps (I expect many a best-seller from those who do this exercise). You must be specific though and explain “how to become overwhelmed exactly the way you are currently doing it, step-by-step.” You will be amazed at just how quick you start laughing too!
“I'll never let you down even if I could. I'd give up everything if only for your good. So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong. You can hold me when I'm scared. You won't always be there so love me when I'm gone. Love me when I'm gone.”
The point of the exercise is to identify what is “f-ing stressing me out,” or what makes the situation overwhelming, what am I afraid of? What needs to happen to make the situation less stressful? Once we can identify the “what” that is creating the situation a plan can easily be laid out in a step by step manner that will offer relief. What will make this particular transit so bumpy is that Saturn is in the area of Scorpio that is referred to as Via Combusta, the Fiery Way/Road. For the first half of this transit instead of Saturn doing its work, the work of Saturn will be brought to us, in living breathing technicolor, through Scorpio’s rulers, Mars and Pluto. Can we just stir the “demons” up a little more? Here come the “those people” who just love to try to push us around. Oh yes, indeed, that pot will be stirred many times for each of us, but remember we all have FREE WILL to choose!
Everyone is going through some thing and that thing can be divorce, job loss, financial hardship, illness, what’s your Demon bringing up for review? The point is trust yourself because there are all kinds of Demons who will try to sell you a quick fix of your drug of choice (Pluto) in order to deny the pain (Saturn). Just open a magazine, turn on the TV or radio and there’s someone who has a “quick fix” for your pain. If you’ll BUY this or that you too can be popular, smart, sexy without the pain. Really? Watch out for the martyrs who might try to persuade you into something via guilt. And then of course there are new-agers who may be touting the latest obsessive-compulsive behavior that takes you to the head of the line for your daily dose of Nirvana. Just trust yourself!
When the Buddha was under the Bodhi tree seeking enlightenment, the demons came. He tried to fight them off for days. Finally realizing that, at best, they would reach an impasse, he invited them to sit with him. Think of this experience as Buddha inviting his demons to tea and yes you’re Buddha. Befriend your demons, acknowledge them and finally once you’ve mated with them you will be surprised they won’t bother you anymore. It takes courage to “mate with demons” and chances are that you’ve faced them many times and persevered. The last time Saturn was in Scorpio was 1983-85, so think back and now “I SEE!” Life is not for the faint of heart and if you’re living and breathing on Spaceship Earth, oh hell yes, you came for the Party! Live it out loud!
To be continued…..
“When your education X-Ray cannot see under my skin I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends. Roaming through this darkness I'm alive but I'm alone. Part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone. Or maybe I'm just blind.”
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