It's The End Of The World As We Know It, And I Look Fine

4 years ago

According to the ancient Mayan calendar, the world is scheduled to come to an end on December 21, 2012.  I don't know about you, but I plan to spend my remaining two months studying up on what to expect when you're being exterminated. I will accomplish this by watching the current crop of post apocalyptic television programs, which naturally are just loaded with helpful information.  The Walking Dead  (AMC) teaches us you need to have a Zombie escape plan. (I'm pretty sure you can buy one at Wal * Mart.)  NBC's new series Revolution suggests that Armageddon will come after the mother of all power black-outs, so you better start hoarding some batteries.  Last season's Falling Skies (TNT) delivers doom in the form of invading  aliens with tentacles.  This has long been my preferred end-of-the-world theme, although I'm a little tired of extraterrestrials who look like octopi.  Please, can't any of them ever be bi-peds?  ABC's got The Last Resort this season, and it looks like the ever popular Cold War meme is back in the form of nuclear annihilation.

There is one theme common to all of these programs that I find extremely comforting.  No matter how dreadful the challenge, when the end comes, we will all be squeaky clean and look like Abercrombie and Fitch supermodels.


Nevermind that scented bath soaps and hot water are a thing of the past, when the big one comes, we'll all be stylin'!

Falling Skies

I look like a hot mess after 6 hours at a campsite, but these folks can go 10 years without laundry detergent or a washer-dryer and damn...they look good!

The Last Resort

The characters in The Last Resort are clean, ship shape and squared away!  I wouldn't look this great after a spending a week at a four-star spa.  But these survivors can do it right at the brink of a nuclear catastrophe.

There's no need to stock up on extra deodorant.  In post apocalyptic television nobody sweats.  Ever.  Occasionally in that old sci-fi series Lost at least they were a little damp. It was a tropical island, after all.

I can't think of a single television series where the characters look like they might actually have experienced some trauma after the fall.  The movies certainly manage to pull it off.  The poor souls in The Road looked absolutely wretched, as one would expect in a world without food, running water or sunshine.  Only on TV does the apocalypse look and feel like a long weekend at Cabo San Lucas. 

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