Look Into the Eyes of the Chupacabra

5 years ago

One of the best things about living with Kiefer, Boo, and Radley is that I no longer need an excuse to watch cartoons.

Netflix, feel free to send me Strawberry Shortcake Disney and Pixar films. No one will judge me.

Please don’t judge me. I’m no chupacabra.

The other day we watched Puss in Boots, and here’s what I learned:

  • Tuesday night is Dance Fight Night.
  • “Don’t talk about Bean Club” is Rule #1. And Rule #2.
  • There is a dance called “the Litter Box,” and another dance that resembles a dog scoot.
  • Beans really are magical. And not just in the Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you—kinda way.
  • Don’t declaw your cat. Unless you want it to grow up to become a thief.
  • Behind every golden-egg-laying chick is a pissed off mother goose.

Most importantly, I learned that if someone offers to show you his Golden Eggs tattoo and begins unbuckling his pants, look away. Look. Away.

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