If you've watched cable television this week you've probably seen teasers for Lifetime's Saturday night movie, Lizzie Borden Took an Ax. They've been pushing it hard. Not as hard as Lizzie pushed that ax into her parents in 1892, but nothing really compares to that, does it?
The movie looks like it hits a great horror and mystery notes. It stars Christini Ricci, the poster (former) child (star) for gothic camp.
I'm impressed with Lifetime's one-two bad mama punches, with Lizzie following last Saturday's premeire of the creep classic Flowers in the Attic. Have you abandoned date date during this cold and bleak month? Feeling post-holiday family-of-origin bitterness or paying down Christmas credit card bills? Spiraling out-of-control because you've already broken your optimistic new year's resolutions? January often sucks. Lifetime has you covered.
Lizzie Borden Took an Ax looks like it is a better movie than Flowers in the Attic proved to be, maybe because it lacks Heather Graham's crazy-eyed performance. Lizzie picked the right Instagram filters and mildly unsettling music, for sure. Like FITA, Lifetime is encouraging Tweeting (#LizzieBorden).
Lifetime is probably hoping for a Sharknado moment while reaching into the portion of our brains where our Wednesday Addams/horrifying jumprope songs are stored. They might get it with Lizzie because they aren't hampered with the elaborate and ridiculous FITA source material that didn't hold up to adult viewing. But with Lizzie Borden, we have only a few couplets, but they've been with us a long time
"A girl who ax-whacked her family? Tell us more!" said every elementary school child, now and forever.
"Here ya go," says Lifetime.
Who knew that a playground rhyme could be the only branding you need in order to be an enduring legend? All told, if I'm home on Saturday night, I'm in. Are you ready to jump into this mess?
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