I just flew back from Ottawa where I was on the set of a movie being made about my life. That's right - a movie. And it's about me, little ol' me -- a former stay-at-home mom, whose entire world was so pulverized by divorce and infidelity six years ago she could barely even drag herself out of bed.
The movie under creation is based on my memoir, The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom, which, I must add, was an ordeal unto itself to write: I didn't even know if I was capable of writing a book, let alone write one that merited publishing. I also had major fears and reservations around exposing my dating/ sex life to the world, especially since I'm a mother of three young kids.
But when American publisher Seal Press offered to buy it, I chose to leap instead of hide. I also chose to celebrate: I'd dared to go after what, in many ways, seemed an impossible dream. And after the book came out last year, I thought that was the end of my journey; I was ready to move on...
But a few months ago, Lifetime exercised a movie option on it. And right now, at this very moment, it continues to be filmed in Ottawa, with Ashley Jones starring in it as me. ME. Little ol' me. And I'm dumbfounded as to where I'm supposed to 'put' this experience:
For as I stood on set this past week and saw, with my own two eyes, the money, the crew, the actors, the equipment, the BIGNESS of my personal history come to life, I was overwhelmed. It's like I'd entered the Twilight Zone. Everyone was so respectful, inundated me with questions, wanted photos taken with me, hell, there was even a trailer outside with my name on it. What the...? What does one even do with such an experience? It all just seemed surreal!
And so I'm writing this today with a sweeping sense of surrender -- to the highs, lows and unexpectedness of life. My humility is vast, as are my feelings of gratitude and awe. To have gone from a place of complete despair, fear, even hopelessness; to be tested and hammered around one hard issue after another for years, only to arrive here, to THIS, is well...beyond my comprehension. And I hope in some small way that my journey helps give you faith in a bigger picture for your divorce journey; cause you just don't know what great things lie around corners up ahead on your path.
Me with my book.
Cynthia Preston (as Hali), me, Ashley Jones (as Delaine)
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