4 years ago

Dear Society:

There are several intricate details about my inner self that make me who I am. Many are common in society and are accepted with open arms yet many are frowned upon and labeled crazy, ridiculous and lets not forget many see me as closed minded. In the shadow of a nations tragedy I feel this immense tug at my heart and soul to explain what is going on in my mind. Sure I may upset many…but I may inspire a few women out there to not be afraid to voice what they believe, even if it is not popular among society.

Last week was full of unbelievable grief for all of society as a whole no matter what your belief’s are. I will start with the Clackamas Town Center shooting. I am just a tick south of Portland and frequent that mall once to twice a year. I was just getting comfortable on that cold rainy afternoon with my 2 year old, only to come across a facebook link to a breaking news story.  I quickly click on it seeing the words shooting andPortland mall leap off my screen and stop my heart, and terminate my breathe. Reading on I quickly turned on my news channel and began following the tragedy. So many thoughts were running through my mind, in terror I began to question who is the shooter, why would he do this, how many people are hurt or God forbid dead, is he caught yet, WHY? I frantically call my husband at work over and over until he answers trying to relay what is going on to him while trying not to freak my 7 year old son out. I mean how much can he understand with out being scared to death to go to the mall again..Before I could even get my grief out or my mind wrapped around this whole incident I am hearing many media outlets already blaming the gun for the crime. Are you kidding me?? We do not even know the details about who this person or people are and you are taking away from those details to bring up  unprecedented gun control topics? I was blown away. I do not really care if you are for or against gun control at that very second in time, lets just take a minute to grieve those who are involved in this horrific tragedy.

Our most recent heartfelt tragedy in what felt like seconds after would be the Connecticut school shootings. I cannot even fathom what these families are dealing with. Every time I hear a detail, see a picture, or look at my own children I tear up, shake my head and contemplate the reality of it all. It is like waking up in a bad dream, if only it was. I was preparing sugar cookie dough that morning for my kids to bake and decorate the next day when the news broke out. Our school district is on a 4 day week so I had my 7 year old son home with me and my 2 year old while my 12 year old daughter was at basketball practice. I was in such a panic to hear the details I had to have looked like a white faced, teary eyed troll to my two kids at home when I turned the volume up on the television and demanded silence. Looking back now, I bet I terrified my 7 year old son more then I even originally thought. He sat there and watched with me displaying a look of concern and confusion. He kept asking ” Mom did they get him, is he still in there?” ,  ”Are they getting the kids out?” , “Why aren’t their parents going in to find them?”  all perfectly good questions for a 7 year old, 1st grader who is concerned for all the kids involved. All questions I couldn’t even answer in the heat of the moment, all I could do is hold his hand and my two year old in fear of what we were about to learn. Glancing at the clock I see that my oldest daughter should be home anytime, and as I begin to look out the window for her arrival I hear a news reporter start recklessly vomiting her opinions on gun control. My blood pressure immediately raised to an obscene level. Is this really happening, the second time this week a tragedy hits and the media has to warp all of its viewers into thinking this is the governments fault for not taking away our second amendment? If I see another report or story stating the words ” The price of the second amendment”  my heart may literally blow up from increased blood flow! I contain so much emotion for these victims and families of all involved every second of the days that follow the incident. I pray for them, the first responders, the government and the school districts nation wide. I know God is with their families and wrapping his loving arms around the children and teachers who lost their life’s. My faith is what keeps me sane, I cannot imagine how I would handle this otherwise. Now, I must try and figure out how to handle this tragedy in my own home with my 7 year old who is not only full of confusion but Gods love.

Our media will never stop relaying their hidden agendas on us, but will you put your foot down and make it known what you believe is true in your heart even if it is not popular or may hurt someone feelings. All I know is that I listen to their opinions so now its time they listen to mine. The second amendment has nothing to do with these tragedies..bottom line! I am a Wife, Mother, Believer in Christ & Proudly Armed!

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