I hate to exercise, but I love one-word entitled TV shows. So, I make a deal with myself to DVR said programs, and watch them only while actually on the treadmill. (And the treadmill has to be moving. ) So, Survivor, Scandal, Revenge and Nashville are all queued up and waiting for me to jump on and get moving. I did toy with the idea of adding Mistresses and Betrayal or perhaps Hostages, but couldn't imagine trying to keep up with that kind of workout schedule.
This morning, I decided I'd better catch up on Scandal because I'm at least two episodes behind and with that show's popularity, chances are I'd hear about what happened last episode and, let's face it, nothing sucks more than blowing the big Scandal, "wait did that just happen?" moment at the end of every episode. So, although I'm at least 4 episodes behind on Revenge, Scandal won the day. Spoiler alert: If you happen to be as bad as I am and a few episodes behind, don't read further.
This morning I watched Olivia Pope toss her "Fitz phone" into the trash. I dropped my hand weights, sweating away, to clap! Way to go, Olivia, I'm thinking. You are beautiful, smart, creative, wealthy and although the moral compass is a bit off kilter, I'll give you a bit of a pass as you do work in politics and, truth be told, it's got to be tough to keep things on the straight and narrow surrounded by that band of buddies. There it went, the phone in the trash. Watching her toss it gave me hope that she could finally get free of her past and get busy with that adorable Jake. By the way, wasn't he in Alias with Jennifer Garner? I could be wrong about that, I'm old.
Anyway, Olivia tossing the Fitz phone made me realize that we all have something in our lives that we hang onto for various reasons even when keeping it makes us miserable. Maybe you hold a grudge against your high school prom date who left you and danced with your best friend all night. This did not happen to me...Maybe every time you fight with your husband, you love to bring back the one truly horrible thing he said to you 20 years ago that you swore you would never let him forget. Perhaps it's your fear of allowing people to really get to know you, to be vulnerable once in a while. Letting go of things that hold us back or let us down can be hard. Letting go when you know you should to allow things to change can be terrifying. As a mom, I've had to learn to let go over and over again. As kids grow and become independent, as they make mistakes and they learn, it would be easy to hold on, to keep things safe and to protect them all the time. But, for them, doing what's right meant letting them go. Why is letting go of the things that hold us back, make us doubt ourselves and make us miserable so hard for us to do?
Even Olivia Pope, that great gladiator, couldn't do it. By the end of the hour, Olivia had dug through her trash to reclaim her Fitz phone. Digging through trash for money or cake is acceptable; for this, no way. I can't believe she'd do it, especially wearing white. Clearly, she is not ready to put her past behind her and to move on. Clearly she likes to torture herself as the other women and clearly we love to watch her do it. For me, by the end of the hour, I had to thank her. I got a blog out of the show and some food for thought. It's time to throw away our Fitz phones. Better luck next week, Olivia.
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