Happy Juan-uary: ABC's 'The Bachelor' Returns With Juan Pablo!

3 years ago

This is a big week, as the highly-anticipated season premiere of a show known for its twists and turns, backstabbing, and foreign accents is finally airing.

No, not Downton Abbey. I'm talking about The Bachelor.

Image: ABC Medianet

It's "Juan-uary,"  folks, and I couldn't be more excited about the selection of Juan Pablo Galavis to lead the crazy in the 18th season. Juan Pablo caused most viewers of last season's The Bachelorette to lose their ever-loving minds. That's because he's got a wicked trifecta going on:

1. A former professional soccer player, Juan Pablo keeps himself in superior physical form, totally helpful for all those times he'll be required (I think it's in his contract?) to remove his shirt during Season 18.

2. He's the devoted single dad to an absolutely adorable four-year-old girl who was born on Valentine's Day, and has made it abundantly clear that any future wife of his must love his little Camila, and that's not negotiable. Cue swooning.

3. The first Latino Bachelor (born in the U.S. to Venezuelan parents who moved him to their home country when he was two, where he stayed until the college years), he's got an accent that can make the ladies melt right down to the ground. Muy bueno.

Gif: Andyordi on Tumbler.com

In order to find his true love Juan Pablo has to weed through 27 outstanding candidates, including but not limited to: an opera singer, a nursing home owner, a teacher, an interior designer, and a free spirit (and yes, that's how she listed her occupation). One of the ladies is a psychiatric nurse and I have to wonder if the producers planted her there after seventeen seasons of mental instability; no doubt her services will be needed at some point.

Lest anyone think that I take The Bachelor too seriously (are you kidding?), I should add that the last couple of seasons have been high quality time spent with my eighteen-year-old son and my sister as the three of us watch together like Statler, Waldorf, and their invisible but equally cranky, equally old guy friend.  It's educational, too: my son is learning about what NOT to look for in a woman as well as the hazards of drama, divas, and drunkenness. This is train wreck television at its best, gang, and by "best" I mean "worst," but only in the best way.

Will YOU be watching tonight?

Melisa Wells


Suburban Scrawl

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