Today I am full of questions I never thought I'd ask myself:
What will life be like now that I've left Los Angeles?
Will I be able to really let the hope of returning to my acting career go?
How do I process being back in the City of Angels... the city I left just seven days ago...
and what the hell am I going to wear to the freaking GRAMMYs?
Yes, you read correctly: G-R-A-M-M-Y-S.
You see, on the day I was pulling away from my sold home in Los Angeles, BlogHer called and invited me to return to LA to help them cover a "Grammy Music Experience" hosted by the Los Angeles Tourism and Convention Board. This weekend is filled with seeing Hollywood sights, dinners at celebrity hotspots, salon treatments, and culminates in the live taping of the 56th Annual GRAMMY Awards.
I'm already having a lot of mixed feelings about being back. It's surreal to be back so soon after I struggled to say good bye... and receiving the "star treatment" is strangely reminiscent of the brief taste of the Hollywood life I had before I got married and had children. I'm a big swirl of emotional commotion presently.
Am I grateful?
Am I excited?
Am I wistful?
Am I strangely confused and anxious becasue I've been living in yoga pants and handling someone elses' pee and poop on a daily basis for the past five years?
Am I playing Lorde's song Royals on a constant loop in my head?
It may be hard for me to clearly articulate the happy quagmire that is my emotional state right now, but I will tell you my plan.
My plan is to experience this weekend one step at a time. My plan is to enjoy dinner as someone who doesn't have to worry if the place is "family friendly". My plan is to be present -- to see, smell, touch, hear (hopefully Justin Timberlake) what's in front of me.
I chose a word at the begining of 2014 -- a word as my focal point, my theme, my goal for the year. That word is "revel".
There is no better time or place than right now to give that word a workout.
-- Jenni Chiu
Blogger. Vlogger. Not a Jogger.
Jenni writes at MommyNanibooboo.com
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