Kate Middleton H.R.H. The Duchess of Cambridge, I concede. Despite years of private swooning over Teen Beat covers, Prince William is officially yours & he liked it so much that he put a ring on it this morning & sealed it with the quickest wedding kiss known to mankind.
While I have kept a polite distance, shying away from tabloids & commemorative china collections, the pageantry of it all did sweep away the best of my sensibilities & I set my alarm for 5am EST this morning. I clicked on the television just as Princesses Beatrice & Eugenie pulled up to the church, stepping out with fascinators that were...well, fascinating. Really, the only other thing Eugenie could have done was put a bird on it.
I'm going to take a stab & say that the Princesses were just trying to find a way to get the camera pointed on them for 2.5 seconds. I'm all, "DUDES. MOVE FOR THE DRESS." & they're all, "My hat! God save the Queen!" The ploy definitely worked - while Kate is now being formally referred to as Catherine, the Princesses are front & center of People.com with their ridiculous coiffures.
& need we discuss Zara Phillips, who looked like Area 54 landed right on her gorgeous blonde hair?
Not that I find all fascinators & hats to be tacky. I've actually become quite fascinated by fascinators. Kate Middleton Mrs. William Mountbatten-Windsor has inspired me to spend hours on Pinterest & Etsy, scouring netting & feathers to complete an outfit for a friend's wedding next month. I am now a firm believer that a little saucy hat perched jauntily on my head will spruce up a day at the office in a basic black suit. (I may have to move to England to avoid side-eyes.) & I think we can all agree that Queen Elizabeth looked utterly delightful this morning in her canary yellow hat & matching dress.
But I do think that unlike Princess Beatrice, I will steer clear of any hat that makes me resemble a genetically-altered ram.
What say the commoners - are fascinators fascinating? Or best left to eccentric royals for public showmanship? Or am I just reaching for something to ease the blow of the loss of my childhood love?
More from entertainment